metanoia «yoonmin»

1

"Are we there yet?"

"Jimin, honey, I already told you you need to wait a little longer," his mother smiled, revealing how most of her wrinkles had formed. She lightly touched the icon of God near the radio and mumbled a yet another prayer for safe journey.

"Jimin, you aren't a little kid anymore. You will be getting your license next year so learn to be patient for a start," his father said in a grim voice. "The Lord loves the patient–"

"–and the loving," Jimin sighed. "I know, father. I know."

They had been travelling for around three hours and to say Jimin was bored was an understatement. He desperately needed to stretch his legs too. His mother had been repeating the same prayer since they had left their previous house as if that was the only thing that could keep them alive while on the road. His father, as per usual, was driving silently, classical music filling the car. Jimin wished he could listen to some pop music for a change, but his mother found unbearably disrespectful to have earphones in while in the presence of adults. They were not even paying him any attention. There was no disrespect intended or whatever.

Jimin sighed again and that was when he saw it. Lengths of blue and green and white in the distance. Waves chasing one another, desperate to reach the beach sooner and crash themselves against the hot sand. Birds flying high and screaming louder than his mother when he had questioned God for the first time. He mumbled something about being too hot to his parents and opened the window with trembling hands. It was true, the sea really smelled of salt. Along with the screams of the seagulls he could hear the sound of the waves – deafening, but calming; distant, but, oh, so close; making his mind blank, but also awakening his imagination better than any song or drawing, or book, or photo. His heart filled with joy as he closed his eyes and let his whole being absorb the sea.

It felt like nothing he had felt before. It felt like home.

–

"Dad, I am not sure if I want to come... We just moved," Jimin said in a low voice so that his mother would not hear what he was saying. Missing a Sunday at the church was scandalous after all.

"Park Jimin! How dare you say this!?" his mother exclaimed, head shaking in disapproval. "I heard there is bible study for students after the mass so this will be a great opportunity for you to make more friends your age. And on top of that, they share some techniques for restricting and controlling your abilities. I was hoping you will like it... You know I only want the best for you..."

And there began the guilt tripping because that was what his mother did whenever things were not going the way she wished. Jimin wanted to be angry at her for that but he could not. It was working.

In the end he agreed, his father not saying much but by his expression Jimin could tell he was actually feeling sympathetic for him. Well, new friends were not going to hurt really. Of course, that was unless they were religion maniacs like his own mother. It would have been a problem then or more like annoyance. Don't get Jimin wrong, he was really a believer. He even enjoyed some of the masses and bible studies. What he disliked was when people took things too far. Faith was not supposed to restrict you, Jimin believed, faith was was supposed to free you.

The mass was surprisingly short or maybe it was because Jimin kept being distracted by little things such as the the stained glass of the windows — various colors colliding together to form different shapes as flowers, sun, different scene from the bible and some that could be interpreted in several ways depending on the person, or by the strong pull of the ocean water in his heart even though he could not see it. It was enough to know that it was close. If he found friends, he may ask them to go to the sea. That would be a memory to remember.