His real name is Eggwardo, but I said no fuck that. The cover is a picture of Eggwater, living his best life.
This is the story of how Eggwater came to be the greatest pigeon chaser and the richest alive thing in the world.
Features the grand showdo...
Eggwater was quite happy a little while after and his high school years came to a sad ending, but he graduated and went to a good college... But by the time he graduated the college he found out a perfect dream job.
He wants to become a professional pigeon chaser. He thinks he would be great for the job, since his odd dildo-shaped body would be frightening to the birds.
This, however, means moving into a city, away from his hometown.
This has pros and cons. The pros are he gets to do his dream job and he is far away from his abusive ex-father Gordan Ramsay. The cons are that he has to change his life completely and leave behind his family.
He chooses to leave anyway, and is going to Seattle, Washington, the place with a population of over 700,000 people. (I checked)
Lauren cries and cries about it, saying she wishes she could go with him and she doesn't want to leave behind her son, and Maggie is so heartbroken that Eggwater was leaving.
2 weeks before Eggwater leaves for Seattle, Lauren's super rich parents die from a hippopotamus attack and Lauren gets everything, which was $604,999,999,999. (604 billion dollars)
Now Lauren is the richest person on the entire earth.
Naturally, she, Maggie, Lexie, and Eggwater leave their town to live in a much better state. Eggwater cancels his leaving to Seattle and instead everyone is going to live in a huge mansion in California.
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(Disclaimer: Any information I give about the house above is false and I have not checked)
It has 71 bedrooms and 39 bathrooms. The pools are huge and beautiful so everyone can have friends over and be popular.
Eggwater gets a job as a pigeon chaser and is making $2 an hour, but the money doesn't matter since he has a lot of that.
Lauren splits the 604 billion dollars between her, Eggwater, Lexie, and Maggie. Each gets $151,249,875,000, and that's a lot so they are very grateful.
The house only cost $500,000. It originally cost $350,000 but then Lauren tried to sleep with the owner so they could lower the price. It backfired on them but who cares, Lauren and her children are RICH.
This is where Eggwater's life actually begins.
From this point on you will read about Eggwater's soon to be cop girlfriend, his final showdown with Gordan Ramsay, his secret powers, and much more.
