The Life of Eggwater

He's Back

Eggwater spent as much time as he could with his rabbit cop girlfriend, but some days, like every day, much like this one, she has to work.

While she heads to work, Eggwater takes a stroll around the mansion.

But suddenly

He sees a man

Not just any man

A man he knows

And he doesn't know a lot of men

But this man just happens to be

Gordan Ramsay!

Eggwater tries to run but Gordan sees him and runs quicker because, well, he has legs and Eggwater doesn't.

"I'm back, motherfu- son. I can't believe your ugly ass left me."

"W h a t- you literally beat me every day."

"I don't remember that but I'm back you motherfucker and I will be your father again." He laughs. "And you'll forever say goodbye to your raw ass side chicks!"

"No!" As people gather to watch and decide not to help like they did on the chapter "Execution Day", Eggwater head bumps Gordan and waddles back.

This doesn't hurt him, it merely angers the beast.

The fight for hours. Days. Months. Years. Decades. Centuries.

Wait it's only been 3 minutes.

Anyway

Gordan punches. Eggwater dodges. Gordan kicks. Eggwater falls. He wraps a tentacle thing around Gordan's leg and he falls too.

Eggwater hops on his stomach.

Gordan beats him.

The fight goes on.

Suddenly

Gordan has the upper hand.

He slams Eggwater down and pulls out a gun. The crowd gasps. "This is what you fucking get for being fucking naughty."

Somewhere stuck in the crowd, Maggie screams at his choice of words (not the cursing, she would understand) but she can't do anything about it.

Gordan pulls the trigger.

There's a bang from the gun but the bullet doesn't hit Eggwater.

It stops mid air.

Eggwater realizes what happened.

"I have."

"Magic."

Gordan screams, the crowd roars, Eggwater grins at the victory even though he hasn't won anything yet. Lauren hugs him. Confetti is everywhere.

But before the celebration escalates, Eggwater starts to float. Gordan gulps. Eggwater grows...

Arms??

"What the fuck, you egg-eyed donkey?"

He starts beating the shit, pounding (sorry), Gordan and he falls, injured.

"Finish him!" The crowds eggs on. "Destroy him!"

"No. Even though this man is crazy as hell, he will be treated like a proper human being. Nurses-" he addresses the approaching ladies, "take this man away. Keep him locked up forever."

"Hooray!"

Everyone eats cake, Eggwater turns back to his arm-less self, and everyone goes home, exhausted with all this action that seems to happen literally every two days.