Ours

7- Just Dropping By

I realize the next morning that I don't actually know what time Alexander's rehearsals are. I had just assumed that they would be at the same time each day, but now that I think about it, that seems unrealistic. That thought alone almost causes me to abandon this entire idea completely. The thought of showing up to an empty theatre causes me to feel nauseated with embarrassment. 

Then again, I do want to see him. 

Why? 

I weigh the options in my room, pacing between the doorway and the window feverishly. If I don't go, I won't see Alexander- that's a guarantee. If I do go, there's still a chance that I won't see him. But, if I go, the chance of me seeing him is significantly higher than if I stay here, endlessly pacing.  

I grab my bag and head out of the door. I can always say that I entered the wrong building. 

That won't make you look like an idiot.

I retrace the path Alexander and I took to get to the theatre. I pull my jacket up, trying to fight away the sudden bite the air has. I glance at the gray sky, surprised I didn't notice the subtle changes in the weather before this moment. Even now as I look around I see that some of the trees have begun to shift into shades of yellow. It's barely noticeable on some, their leaves still a sweet-looking yellow-green, but on others, the green has almost been entirely overpowered by shades of red, yellow, and orange. 

I climb the steps of the building slowly, toying with the straps of my backpack as I walk. At first, I don't hear anything, and my stomach twists, but as I get closer to the auditorium, voices begin to echo through the halls. I push open the door to the auditorium quietly, not wanting to draw any attention to myself. Moving as silently as I can, I take a seat at the back, scanning the stage from a distance. 

Everyone onstage has their scripts with them, and as they read their lines, some move around a lot, while others don't move at all. I have no clue what is happening, and all I know is that I don't see Alexander anywhere. All of a sudden, the actors onstage all stop speaking, turning towards the audience with looks of expectation. But they're not looking out to where I'm sitting; just at one person near the stage.

A woman I recognise as the director sits in front of the stage, and even from where I am at the back of the auditorium, I can hear what she's telling the actors to do, to try out, or take note of. 

"Good work, guys," She says, apparently cueing that group of people to exit the stage. They scatter hastily, going offstage on both the left and right side of the stage. The next group enters with just as much speed, and among them, I spot Alexander. 

The scene is short, and there are only three speaking characters in it. One is Duke Orsino, which I remember from Alexander's script. Another is a character named Cesario, who is played by a tall woman. Her hair is up, and she's speaking in a deeper voice. The third I don't know the name of, but the character is played by another guy. 

Alexander looks out into the audience a few times, but he never indicates that he sees me. 

"I'll do my best to woo your lady:" The woman onstage says to Alexander. She turns away from him, facing the audience saying as if to be discreet, "Yet, a barful strife! Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife."

I watch as they turn to look at the director intently, except for Alexander. He looks out into the audience. I can't tell whether he sees me or not, or what expression rests on his face, but I feel my stomach twist once again. 

As soon as she's done giving her notes, the director sends the actors offstage. Alexander runs over to the side of the stage, jumping off gracefully and jogging up the aisle towards me.  

"Hey there," He says with a smile as reaches me. "What're you doing here?"

"I..." Good question. "I figured I'd stop by and watch you rehearse. Surprise you," Just came here to watch him rehearse, huh? No other reason? 

What, exactly, is that supposed to mean? 

"Nice," Alexander says, dropping lightly into the chair in front of me and sitting with his arms resting on the seatback so he's facing me. "That's... actually pretty cool," He says softly. 

I look at him draped casually in the audience, in no way ready to be back on stage if he's needed. "Shouldn't you be backstage? Like, aren't you supposed to be... practising right now, or something?" I ask. 

"Oh," He laughs, glancing backwards, "Nah, it's all good. I'm not back on stage for another five scenes or so." I nod, and Alexander rests his head in his hands like a child. "So," Alexander says, "What's new?" He asks as if we haven't been texting all weekend. 

I feel a smile start on my face as I think about the Coldplay medley. I begin to tell him about it excitedly, the smile growing as I tell him about my meeting tomorrow and Professor Murphy's email. 

Alexander smiles back, though he admits to not knowing a lot about the piano. "What songs are in the medley?" He asks. I tell him, but he shakes his head apologetically, saying, "Sorry, I guess I don't actually know a lot of Coldplay songs." I laugh, and he quickly follows up with, "You can keep talking about it if you like, though. It's cool to hear you talk about something you're interested in."

I feel a heat rising in my cheeks and quickly look away. 'Why am I blushing?'  I think to myself.

"Alexander!" The director calls from the front of the stage, and Alexander jumps up, a look of frustration on his face. 

"Shoot," He says under his breath. He looks at me, his smile shrinking a little bit, "You still have class after this, don't you?" 

"Yeah," I tell him, pointing to my bag sitting at my feet, "I'll probably have to go before you're done, like last time,"

Alexander nods, looking disappointed, "Well, good luck tomorrow, then," He says abruptly before running back down towards the stage. He jumps back onstage, apologizing to the director. 

I stay for as long as I can, but he doesn't have time between scenes to come and talk again. Soon, I have to leave for class. 

I look for Alexander one last time before I go, but I don't see him. 

What does it matter? Why do you want to see him that much? 

I don't. 

Sure you don't. 

It's exciting to have a new friend, is all. Someone other than Taren.

Right, Mr Antisocial. Exciting. 

What does it matter? So I looked for him on my way out the door, big deal. That doesn't mean anything, other than maybe I'm looking for the chance to say goodbye. That's a nice thing to do for a nice person. For a nice friend. 

Friend. Because that's what you're thinking about with Alexander. 

Of course, it is. 

What else could it be?