Ours

Bonus: Yours

Kayla Price

I can't say I resent Veronica for letting me die. It was fate, in some way. There was nothing I could do about it. What I was most worried about was whether Micheal was going to be okay. He wasn't in a healthy place, and everything I had done that week was to try and help him find a way to get to one- but I wasn't done. I had expected that I would have been able to keep helping him. And suddenly, I wasn't able to, and I didn't know how he would handle that. 

What broke my heart the most was seeing him receive the news. In some horrifying turn of events, he didn't know I had died until the start of school the next week. What's worse, he found out in class. I wanted to tell him, "It's okay, I'm okay!" But there's no possible way I could communicate that, even if I was always watching over him. 

And then there was a moment where I just knew that Micheal was going to be okay. I can't explain it, I just knew. Maybe it's because time works differently for me now, or it could just be a sixth sense of some sort, but I could see that he would be okay. That he would survive. That he could be happy. 

I do have to admit, however, that this was not quite what I thought would happen. I watch in disbelief as Micheal and Alexander text for hours on end, Micheal absolutely oblivious to Alexander's obvious flirting. 

"He's trying to ask you out!" I want to yell at him, but of course, I'm nothing more than a ghost, hovering above Micheal as he continues on with his life. I saw Alexanders face when he walked into Micheal- shocked at first, of course, but then... just completely awestruck. I knew how he felt. Maybe I couldn't see it at first, but clearly Alexander did. 

Watching them together, almost a month later, makes me sure that I was right- Micheal would be okay. He'd be happy. 

I remember watching as Alexander, who barely knew him, sprint across campus to come to his aid when the felt something was wrong. And he was right, something was wrong. Something that I can never fix, no matter how much I try to tell Micheal that it's not his fault. Watching him fall apart with guilt breaks my heart. I know I'll never be able to communicate with him, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I try to rest my hand on his shoulder. I want to hold his hand. But I don't even have a corporeal form, let alone a body. I'm barely just a thought, hovering invisibly without so much as a stir in the air. There's nothing more I can do for him now, other than watch out for him. 

And so I do. I watched as he stood up to Alexander's roommate. I couldn't help but be reminded of a time when I held Micheal after standing up to a jerk myself as he held Alexander close to him, trying to be oh so gentle but needing to hold on to someone, needing it so badly. 

I watched as he practised the Coldplay medley endlessly, all the while thinking about his mother. Sometimes she would watch over him with me, but I see less and less of her nowadays. 

I quickly stopped watching him and Alexander when they starting kissing beneath a snow-covered tree. That was their moment and their moment alone.  

I watched as he told Alexander exactly what he needed to hear on Christmas night, feeling the warm glow of pride just from seeing how far he'd come. 

I realized how much he'd changed when he performed for an entire auditorium of people. And I smiled because I realized he was moving on. He had become a better person and surrounded himself with better people. 

Sometimes I still wish I could have been one of those people. But then I realize that if I had, Micheal never would have fallen for Alexander. And Alexander has helped him so much it almost hurts. 

On some level, I think I'll always be watching over Micheal. I don't think I could ever leave him. 

Because even though I'm just the girl he knew for a week, and he's just the boy I knew I had to save, he'll always mean more to me. 

And I hope that one day he'll feel a breeze on his face and realize; 

'Kayla never left me. And it's not my fault.'

That would really make me happy.