Let's start
-I hate when people write the fanfic like this:
James was a normal kid, even though he was purple. One day, he fell down the stairs. "Ow" I said "that hurts". I managed to get up again and went to the kitchen
"James?" James' mother asked him. Are you ok?" "Yes" I said.
Like it starts with James in a 3rd person POV, it continues with 1st person and then it mixes the perspectives.
Please proofread!
-I hate when people do the same, but with the tenses or the verbs
Example:
James was a normal kid, even though he is purple. One day, he fell down the stairs. "Ow" He says "that hurts". He manages to get up again and went to the kitchen
"James?" James' mother asks him. Are you ok?" "Yes" He said.
-I hate when people don't select the phrases correctly to put them as bold, italics, etc
"UUUUUUUUUU" The ghost screamed "I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOUUUU"
-I hate when people don't add commas
James is purple but we love him here we respect his decisions forever and we can't be boyfriends because he already married a chair but he can cheat on it because it's a chair it can't do anything but he doesn't want to hurt its feelings
-I hate when people are so repetitive
Thomas was in a good mood. He was in a good mood because he wasn't a train anymore. That made him be in a good mood. James liked when Thomas was in a good mood. It usually made him be in a good mood too.
-I hate when every chapter in a story is completely a different thing the protagonist has to suffer. Or when everything passes in a single chapter.
Thomas walked down the street. He fell to the ground and broke his leg. On the way to the hospital James told him that he wasn't allowed to hang out with him anymore and then he received a phone call and the doctor told him that his wife died and then Alexander went and told him that they were going to do a project together
-I hate when the characters are completely out of character
Thomas was a quiet kid, he didn't like talking and mostly liked sewing and helping people. Most of the people that knew him said he was so sweet and kind. He was in the school bus when a a guy sat down next to him. He had bright yellow eyes. Thomas (without noticing it) was staring at him. "What do you want" The guy asked rudely "I don't want anything, sorry" Thomas said nervously "I'm Thomas Jefferson" "James Madison" the other said
-I hate when things happens so fast. For example, imagine this is the first chapter of a fanfic and Thomas and James just met.
Thomas' POV
Oh my God James is so cute and adorable. I think I'm in love with him! I just want to be with him forever!
"Do you want to go for a date?" I asked
"Like right now?" He looked confused
"Yeah!"
He blushed "all right"
And last but not least:
-I hate when all ends in a single chapter
Thomas exited the hospital. Turns out his leg wasn't broken, his wife was fine, Madison was finally allowed to hang out with him and Alexander changed his partner for the project
The end!
And I'm done complaining
Don't forget to proofread!
