*snaps fingers 5 times*
I didn't know if I should post this because bdgdbdh personal shit, vents, me agonizing and chaos in general.
Just like the queen one, it's a long one. 1600 words to be exact.
This is more for me than it is for you, I don't wanna lose all of this.
These are posts I've made on deviantart, it's really chaotic. Just me talking about random stuff, going from thought to thought.
I'll probably give you a bit of context if I think you need it.
Let's go
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Friendly reminder Alicia get your shit together and do the animatic or I'm chopping your head off
(This is from when I wanted to do a killer queen animatic and have good omens stuff along with clone high and Queen in general)
JusT likE mAriE AntOniEttE-
A built iN rEmEdY fOr Khrushchev and KennedY~
(Yeah that's a fragment of killer queen)
Threatening myself with songs is so great
I'm actually thinking about using the journal section for an actual journal since no one's gonna read this
Also to spam songs since I annoy everyone with it, maybe vent a bit(??
My mind always goes from a thought to a song and to an idea for writing, that's why this is so chaotic.
This is how my thoughts look like without organizing. Maybe I'll do more status posts like this
If you read all of this, either you're really bored or you wanna make fun of me. Sad.
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(GOD THIS IS SUCH A SHITTY VENT I'M CRyInG) (You can skip this one and scroll down, when you see red stuff you can start reading again)
I wanna thank my irl friends for supporting me and my mental shiT-
I know they aren't gonna see this, okay seli might do, but I just cdhshbshsbdh I'm feeling very appreciative.
Sometimes a friend and I think about a parallel universe where nothing you do has bad consequences.
There's your average breaking stuff, yelling at everyone, the only thing I would love to do is stay in my bed all day. Nothing to do. No stress. Damn that sounds like heaven to me.
I always think that if I'm gonna die of something, it's gonna be caused by stress. It's not that my life is that stressful, okay it kinda is, but everything seems so important in my mind. Talking to people before school. Going to French after not going for a couple of days. Going to the optometrist because something is wrong.
Every little thing adds a heartbeat to my heart rate. It's constantly over 80 bpm. It may not seem like much, but that point when you put a hand over your heart and notice the beats and you think, it's too quick. That's how I'm feeling since I started secondary school, and it's been a few years since I did.
I don't like starting new things. I'm too anxious for that. I think it's gonna impact my life. Like starting doing something as a habit. In my mind now I have to adapt my whole life to have that habit.
I'm not doing bad at school. I'm average at the start, end up with 9s and 10s. But I'm always thinking. This year isn't gonna be like the rest. I'm probably gonna do badly. I'm so scared of failing it makes me go crazy. I hate this. I hate everything. I wish I was another person
See why I appreciate my friends so much? Although I don't really vent to them like that, but always with short sentences. Basically, summarizing.
They always cheer me up. I feel closer to them than ever. Even with my ex crush, even though we aren't in the same class we still have a great relationship.
