The Stalker and the Lover

Chapter 1

My name is Krystal and the story I'm about to tell you just might leave you broken like it did me. I'm going to tell this story from my point of view and it's not going to be pretty.

The story is going to start with a 15 year old me about to wake up for another day of school....

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I hear my alarm going off, meaning I have to wake up and go to school. I don't like school, I never have and never will. No one likes me and I really don't like them. Truth be told I do want friends and I have a few but I still feel out of place. They are all so happy and carefree and I'm just quiet and don't say much.

They always try to include me which I appreciate greatly but I just can't help the feeling that I don't fit in. I feel like the odd ball out, probably because I am.

I was raised by my overprotective grandmother that just kept me sheltered my whole life and now that I'm in high school I know nothing. I don't know how to act or how to talk and I certainly don't know what to say or how to fit in. So instead of embarrassing myself I just stay quiet and sit still, just like I was always taught to do.

This fact bugs my friends greatly because they want me to join in and have fun with them. They just don't understand how I feel, I feel like if I step out of place I will get in deep trouble and I don't want that. I hate having people mad at me and yelling at me, it hurts me badly both mentally and emotionally. I just want everyone happy and I want to make them happy, but I feel like I can't.

I get out of bed and use the bathroom then go find some clothes to wear. I scowl at the clothes before me, not because of what brand they are or how they look but because they are so big. I'm overweight and hate it so much it pains me, but I've always been overweight for as long as I can remember. All my baby pictures and pictures of me growing up I was overweight. It's how I was raised and I hate it, now I suffer for it mentally and physically.

I get dressed and look in the mirror and frown even more than I already was. I hate how I look and everything about how I am, I hate myself in general and it bugs me to no bitter end. People can tell me I'm beautiful or pretty but I don't feel it inside and I sure as hell don't see it myself. The guys I like look at me like I'm last months garbage and the guys that like me don't interest me or they think I'm easy because I'm fat. So I just stay alone.

But I do long for someone to love, someone to hold me close and kiss me and make me feel loved. But who could ever love me? I'm hideous in my own eyes so I'm hideous in everyone's eyes as well, the looks they give me tell me that.

I groan loudly as I grab my stuff and leave for school, I don't care how early it is I just want to get away from home. My grandma pisses me off more often than not because she's so paranoid. She stays at the front door and watches outside almost 24/7 and I hate it because I can't turn a single light on in the house because it will give away her position.

"Bye grandma I'll see you later." I tell her in a sour tone as I squeeze past her spot by the door.

"I'd rather you not leave me here alone with these assholes. One day you'll come home and find me dead." She says in a old raspy voice.

"No I won't grandma because no one wants to kill you." I reply and roll my eyes.

"Yes they do! If they didn't they wouldn't be spraying chemicals in my yard!" She shouts at me as she glares out the front door.

"I'm not having this discussion again. Bye." I say with a attitude and rush out of the door to start my long walk to school.

I walk only a few blocks to school but to me it seems like a few miles. Not because I'm fat but because I have to walk by certain houses on the way and if these girls are outside they give me problems.