Save Me From Myself » Daniel Howell AU

Chapter 2

I woke up to my phone blaring. I sleepily reached over and grabbed my phone, unlocking it, which stopped the alarm. I groaned, not wanting to get up and go to another terrible day at uni. I reluctantly got up and a few minutes later, I was dressed and ready to go. I walked out of my room and into the kitchen. 

I saw Dan leaning against the counter. I placed my bag on the floor by the chair I was going to sit in. I walked over to the fridge, ignoring Dan as I walked past him. I could feel him looking at me. I closed the fridge after I grabbed the orange juice out. I looked over at Dan to see him looking at me. 

"What's your problem?" I said a little too harshly. "I'm just worried about you, Meg." I rolled my eyes. I sat the carton on the counter and opened the cupboard, grabbing a glass. "Why are you up so early? Usually, you would be drooling on your pillow at this time,"  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dan cross his arms. "I wanted to talk to you before you left," I started pouring the juice in the glass. 

"Well, talk, Howell," I said, turning to look at him as I put the lid back on the carton of orange juice. "First of all, I'm sorry about last night," I nodded as I turned and walked back to the fridge, opening it and placing the carton back where it was before. "Secondly, I'm really worried about you. So is Phil. You're not like you used to be, Meg.." I hope they haven't figured out anything. They don't know that I self-harm and have eating disorders. At least, I think they don't know. 

"Nope, nope. I'm exactly like I used to be." I said. I was obviously lying because my voice got higher pitched. I know that Dan noticed it as well. "Uh huh, yeah right. You know that you're not the same anymore," I looked away. 

"So? There's no reason to worry. I'm fine." 

My definition of FINE: I'm not okay. Synonyms: Depressed, sad, hurt, confused, lonely, unloved, judged, misunderstood, insignificant, broke, dying

"You just.. aren't the happy best friend I used to have," Dan mumbled, looking down. "I would tell you everything, but I don't want a repeat of last night." I mumbled. I went over and picked up my bag, slinging it over my shoulder. "What? No, that won't happen again. I promise, Megan. Please, you can tell me anything." He said, frantically, looking up and grabbing my arm. I pulled my arm away, quickly fixing my shirt so the sleeves were covering my cuts again. 

"I have to go." I mumbled, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Megan, just please. Skip uni today. Be here. I want to know what's going on." He said. I looked back at him and saw tears at the rims of his eyelids, ready to spill. "Dan," I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around his torso, engulfing him in  a hug. He instantly hugged back. "I want to know what's going on, so I can help you," He whispered into my shoulder. "You can't help me now. I'm too far gone."

 I did skip uni. I didn't want Dan to worry. I couldn't stand seeing him like he was and knowing that it was because of me. "Tell me, please," Dan broke the silence between us. Instead on telling him anything, I just raised up my sleeve, revealing dozens of scars and some new cuts. He stared in horror at the cuts that littered my arm. He hasn't even seen the rest. He quietly reached over, gliding a finger over the cuts. I winced each time he touched a newly made cut. 

"That's not all," I mumbled out. He looked at me and I could see the fear in his eyes as I raised up my other sleeve, revealing dozens of more cuts. Tears were already forming in his eyes again. Those still weren't all. I had many that held residence on my legs, but I wasn't gonna show him those. I think he's seen enough. Plus, I had yet to tell him about my eating disorder. It might be too much for him to handle. 

"Why?... I.. Megan, I'm so sorry." Dan sobbed out, words jumbling together. I shook my head, "Don't be. I hate the pity." Dan put his face in his hands. "Dan..." I put a hand on his arm. "I'm gonna help you," He said, finally bringing his face from his hands. "Dan.. You don't need to waste your time on me. You can't save me from myself."