Won't You Help Me Out

01. Weird Places

It was impossible to have seven men in one room and expect them all to agree on everything.

Some days, on the good days when the stress of becoming an idol wasn't crushing them, Changkyun would feel welcomed by his hyungs and let a part of his weird persona amuse them. They would treat him not exactly as the maknae but as a teammate they accepted on their group.

It was mostly Changkyun's opinion or choice that never won over the others. Some times they didn't even bother to hear him.

Some days, they would tolerate his personality and opinions or just ignore it, but never acknowledge his feelings or reactions. Jooheon would open up to him while writing lines for raps, but would ignore his presence at the company if another trainee was around. Hyungwon would only give him advice when none of the other guys was nearby. Kihyun was patient and motherly enough to care about him, but outside the dorms the maknae was by himself. Minhyuk was so active it was impossible for him not to drag the youngest on some of his adventures, but he was still resisting their friendship as he had promised during No Mercy that they wouldn't be friends. Wonho had so much love to give even the maknae received some, but as soon as Changkyun was starting to feel said love the older would put distance between them. Hyunwoo was mature and fatherly, therefore he tried to get the lead rapper more included within the group, but he also had a soft personality that allowed the others influence Hyunwoo's decisions and exclude Changkyun or make his voice invalid.

Changkyun was trying to understand the position their disagreements put the leader on, he needed to be fair and find a mid point to have everyone comfortable or get together to the right and better outcome.

Some days, like today, Changkyun would feel guilty and anxious. For putting his future at risk by leaving school and his parents' expectations and dreams for his son behind in the pursuit of his dreams. Guilty and anxious because the path ahead got dark and foggy and there was no one holding his hand to overcome the monsters blocking the way. For getting this chance to become someone yet keep feeling he was taking someone else's place.

"I know you are young and stupid, but you should really think twice before opening your mouth. I thought you were emo and enjoyed being quiet, you're less annoying that way."

Changkyun felt a stab on his heart, and his defensive immediate reaction was to laugh and roll his eyes.

As if Jooheon was that much older than him.

The rest of the guys were either watching the situation with amusement or pretending to do something on their phones to avoid being part of it.

"Seriously, we would be better with Gunhee instead of you."

Changkyun stared at Hoseok expressionless, "don't you guys have a better comeback? That one's getting old and pointless."

The second oldest stood up, only then Kihyun intervened.

"Guys. Are we seriously fighting over something as little as the shower. At the end of the day it's me who cleans up after we all showered and-"

"You wouldn't have to do it if all of us were organized and didn't take both all the space and time on the bathroom," interrupted Minhyuk.

They were all but Kihyun and Hyunwoo glaring at Changkyun. The leader was even avoiding eye contact, as if thinking on how to sort this out.

Changkyun got up and bowed to Kihyun and then to the rest of the group, as it was expected from him, "I'll be more careful with my stuff, and take less time on shower. You can decide on the cleaning schedule for me too." He then walked up to Hyunwoo who was observing all from the entrance to the living room. "You really don't see why I'm dark? I thought you'd keep your promise, hyung."

"Changkyun, wait."

"Don't bother, hyung," Kihyun tried to stop him but the leader left after the maknae.

Since he didn't have their own bedroom each there was a rule about locking the doors. Hyunwoo came in without knocking and closed after him so the other guys wouldn't disrupt their conversation.

"Changkyun..."

"Please, don't. Just, leave me alone."

"I'm sorry. I should have done something back in the living room, but the group is still new and I have to be careful with my words, I must consider everyone's point of view and-"

"I'm sorry, hyung. But no, you're not understanding. They don't like me, I'm not even sure you like me, and- I- it's difficult because as simple as it looks, this kind of situations only make me feel more alien to the group. I- I know, I know I'm awkward, and not the best roommate, but they aren't either."

"I know.. I'll talk to them too, but I don't want you to leave like that again. If you want me to solve the disagreements and problems you need to stay too and help me. Okay? I don't want you to keep your feelings or opinion to yourself; I did ask you to open up a bit more, didn't I?"

Changkyun ducked his head and murmured, "yes, hyung. Thank you."

Some days Changkyun would feel strong despite the atmosphere in the dorm. He knew everything was going to be all right.