Won't You Help Me Out

17. Don't Blame Me

With throaty voice from crying, Changkyun stood up from Hyunwoo's lap, "I want to tell them, they must know. This will affect them whatever the final decision is."

"Is everybody home?" Hyunwoo asked as they entered the dorm, one of his arms secured around Changkyun's waist keeping him close.

"Actually, no. I think only Hyungwon hyung's here.. and he's probably sleeping already," Changkyun remembered Minhyuk was taking his place in Jooheon's plans while Hoseok and Kihyun were out shopping.

"Left alone sleeping? Not the wisest choice."

"They don't know I followed you to the company," the youngest confessed.

"I see. I'm gonna make some tea, do you want some?"

"No thanks," Changkyun shook his head, he then walked to the closest sofa and threw himself in it where he curled up in a small and trembling ball.

Hyunwoo came back from the kitchen a few minutes later with two cups of tea on his hands, "drink it."

The mood on the room was tense, Hyunwoo was being extra careful not saying what came to his mind — Changkyun was still on the verge of an anxiety attack and he didn't want to cause it by saying something stupid.

"I am the most nervous about meeting my old members," Changkyun began, not really talking to Hyunwoo but rather to himself, his eyes were focused on the ceiling and his fingers tightly wrapped around the unfinished cup of tea. "I am afraid of what my mind will resolve in; I think as soon as I see them I may forget about Monsta X and want to go back to them..."

Hyunwoo walked over to him and sat on the arm rest at Changkyun's feet, just looking at him and hoping the rapper would know he got all of the leader's attention.

"I am also afraid of telling the rest of this group about the offer, and looking over at Jooheon hyung's expression and immediately forget about Nu'Bility-" he suddenly sat up, almost spilling the tea on himself, "what if they think I asked for this and hate me?" his worried eyes were now on Hyunwoo.

"They would never hate you. Don't give me that look, I know what you're thinking.. That was before, under totally different circumstances and.. we know you now. Still, I think, I think that if you were to take the offer, they would still not hate you."

"It's just that.. During No.Mercy and right before our debut, half of the time I was worried on being good enough to belong here, and the other half of the time I was hoping an opportunity like this would came up and save me," Changkyun sourly laughed, "now I am so confused on what I want."

"They were asked an answer before the year ends, you don't have to listen to manager and rush things. You were right.. I don't know what's the best for you. You will know after taking your time to think about it; you will get a clearer idea by talking to both groups."

"Hyung," Changkyun whined laying back down, "I kinda just want Kihyun hyung to laugh in my face and tell me there's no way I'll leave Monsta X alive," they both laughed at the thought of Kihyun forbidding Changkyun to even think about leaving the group.

In that moment the front door opened to reveal a noisy pair of boys not caring about the sleeping corpse in the house.

"Oh, hey guys," Minhyuk giggled hiding a bag behind his back.

"Hey?" Hyunwoo frowned but was ignored.

"Oh?" Jooheon, who was previously hiding something too, dropped the things from his hands as soon as he noticed the cups of tea, "are you okay Changkyunnie? Are you feeling ill?"

"You! You should be more careful with our baby when-" Minhyuk began causing Hyunwoo to stand up and the maknaes to laugh. "Oh gosh, don't square up at me."