The cast for this chapter includes:
J (brother 1)
P (brother 2)
Me
Nan
and my Mum
Enjoy!
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J: I will beat this dead horse until it's powder and then snort it
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P: Rabbit season!
Me: Duck Season!
P: Rabbit season!
J, interrupting loudly: FUCK SEASON
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Mum: Well now I can't put my stuff there, J!
Me: YEAH J
P: YEAH J
J: YEAH J- wait fUCK
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Mum: I'm cooking chicken strips
Immediately, all three of her kids: FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS
Mum: FUCK ALL THREE OF YOU
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Me: I keep losing my shit every time I hear or read the word "nani", MEMES HAVE RUINED ME
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Me: *opens fridge at nan's house*
Me: Wait
Me: WHEN DID I BECOME HEAD-HEIGHT WITH THE FRIDGE
Nan: You didn't, I just got a smaller one.
Me: Lies. You've had the same fridge for at least 20 years.
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Me: BEGONE FOUL BEING
J: Fuck you
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P: Be positive, like a stop sign
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J: THAT'S NOT A TRICYCLE YOU FUCKING MORON
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Me: I don't care that it's actually a gorilla, it's a puppy.
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J: I'm no-one's bean but my own.
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P: Ha ha ha, my nose is blocked, I can't smell-OH FUCK THAT STINKS
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Me: Green is not a creative colour!
J: Your ass is not a creative colour but you still use it.
Me and Mum, in tears: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!!!?
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J: Your bloodline is weak and your children will not survive the winter.
Me: WE HAVE
Me: THE SAME
Me: BLOODLINE
J: Yeah and we're fucking weak
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J: *insulting me like a little bitch*
Me: *jumps off the bed*
J: Oh fuck I forgot you can run
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Me: I'm fast because I've got my sport shoes on
J: That's not how it wor-
Me: Yes it is
YOU ARE READING
quotes from the dumpster fire
Humorrandom shit me and my family come up with, because i love everyone here and they're all assholes
