quotes from the dumpster fire

Haylee..... what in the goddamn

These are quotes from my friend Haylee, the best supplier of weird and out-of-context sentences I've ever met.

Haylee you're the best!!

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Mason: What time zone are you in

Haylee, with no hesitation: 1943

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Haylee: Time to go explore a place I've never been..... the front yard.

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Haylee: What if I get stolen?

Haylee's grandma: They'll bring you back in the first hour, don't worry

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Haylee: What's this?!??? Why are there wires?!?!!!

Haylee: I'm going to have to eat those later

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Me: Why on earth are you walking down the street in chicken pyjamas?

Haylee: I'm not fully in pyjamas, i'm wearing a my hero academia shirt!

Afterwards -

Me: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE WEARING CHICKEN PANTS!!

Haylee: I said the neighbours would see a CHICK IN PANTS! NOT CHICKEN PANTS!!!!

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Haylee: I like my meat blue

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Haylee: I can't even count to one so eek

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Haylee: I snorted my ICE CREAM

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Mason: We're gonna have to put a leash on you!

Haylee: Kinky

Mason: You'd enjoy it

Haylee: *splutters loudly*

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Me: English is a language that's mostly comprised of German, Latin and Greek.

Haylee: Why does English have almost no Japanese in it?
Haylee: ....
Haylee: Wait no don't put that in your quotes-

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Shaani (Haylee's mum): Are you trying to imagine how much space you have in your cupboard so you can shove all your stuff in it?

Haylee: Why do you think i came out of the closet, there's nO MORE ROOM!

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Haylee: Imagine if teeth were toenails and toenails were teeth

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Me: I'm writing down all of the quotes from last night

Haylee: *chokes on drink* please nO-

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Haylee: and I'll starve to death because I won't eat spooders

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Haylee: haha suck it
Haylee: you have caaatttssss

Me: so do you?

Haylee: nope

(Haylee literally has three cats and she loves them very much, I have no idea what was going on in her mind here)

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