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Me: Today on Channel 7 News, Mason has been found dead under mysterious circumstances. Everyone says he probably had it coming.
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Mason: "My boyfriend thinks I'm gay, that motherfucker"
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Me: It's allowed but what the fuck
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Me: Mythbusters, or as I like to call it;
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Me: hey my cat keeps licking my laptop what do i do
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Mason: THEY ARE SO GAY THEY DON'T EVEN SEE HOW GAY THEY ARE
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Taylor: Ew my ex is playing crap emo music on the bus...
Me: Do i want to know the context of that message or no
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Me: how did we go from backpacking to Mason Defense Club
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Me: that really depends on what you've been looking at and personally i don't want to know
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Mason: How is it fascinating... we are just being dick heads to each other
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Mason: It has a fucking tail... the fuck is this shit
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Me: also apologies if i sound like an entitled piece of shit, i just like sounding smart sometimes
Me: I don't get to do it often
Me: Let me have this
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Me: guys we broke our kettle so we dug out our old stove-top kettle and it makes this weird noise and every time it boils J harmonises to the noise so it sounds like there are multiple whistling kettles in the house when really it's just J being a fucking dumbass
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Mason: "i have ab under flab"
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KrimsonRogue (Youtuber): "He is a hormonal teenage boy. Show him boobs and he'll promise to kill the president"
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KrimsonRogue (Youtuber): "If your guy is an abusive unloveable asshole, you just need to be patient and stay with him. IN other terrible advice bleach makes a great chaser"
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Haylee: deleted
Me: BLOCKED
Haylee: gasp UNFRIENDED
Me: HA! YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD! I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS
Haylee:
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Me: FUCK
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Nan: You know, lifeguards mostly tell people what to do, I could be a great lifeguard.
Me: Yes Nan, but you need to be able to swim-
Nan: A MINOR DETAIL
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Haylee: I'm a yeetasaurus rex
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Mason: You're all invited to join me in hell. Attendance is mandatory.
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Mason: Hey want to see me being nice? yeah NO
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Me, to Mason: Don't kamehameha me or I'm going to nukulele your face
