what do u mean im not valid, what the fuck

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Hello! I have returned!

have fun!

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Me: Today on Channel 7 News, Mason has been found dead under mysterious circumstances

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Me: Today on Channel 7 News, Mason has been found dead under mysterious circumstances. Everyone says he probably had it coming.

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Mason: "My boyfriend thinks I'm gay, that motherfucker"

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Me: It's allowed but what the fuck

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Me: Mythbusters, or as I like to call it;

Me: Mythbusters, or as I like to call it;

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Me: hey my cat keeps licking my laptop what do i do

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Mason: THEY ARE SO GAY THEY DON'T EVEN SEE HOW GAY THEY ARE

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Taylor: Ew my ex is playing crap emo music on the bus...

Me: Do i want to know the context of that message or no

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Me: how did we go from backpacking to Mason Defense Club

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Me: that really depends on what you've been looking at and personally i don't want to know

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Mason: How is it fascinating... we are just being dick heads to each other

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Mason: It has a fucking tail... the fuck is this shit

 the fuck is this shit

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Me: also apologies if i sound like an entitled piece of shit, i just like sounding smart sometimes

Me: I don't get to do it often

Me: Let me have this

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Me: guys we broke our kettle so we dug out our old stove-top kettle and it makes this weird noise and every time it boils J harmonises to the noise so it sounds like there are multiple whistling kettles in the house when really it's just J being a fucking dumbass

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Haylee: calmly inhales

Haylee: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Conversation between me and Mason

Conversation between me and Mason

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Mason: "i have ab under flab"

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 KrimsonRogue (Youtuber): "He is a hormonal teenage boy. Show him boobs and he'll promise to kill the president"

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KrimsonRogue (Youtuber): "If your guy is an abusive unloveable asshole, you just need to be patient and stay with him. IN other terrible advice bleach makes a great chaser"

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Haylee: deleted

Me: BLOCKED

Haylee: gasp UNFRIENDED

Me: HA! YOU ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD! I DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS

Haylee:

Me: FUCK

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Me: FUCK

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Nan: You know, lifeguards mostly tell people what to do, I could be a great lifeguard.

Me: Yes Nan, but you need to be able to swim-

Nan: A MINOR DETAIL

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Haylee: I'm a yeetasaurus rex

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Mason: You're all invited to join me in hell. Attendance is mandatory.

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Mason: Hey want to see me being nice? yeah NO

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Me, to Mason: Don't kamehameha me or I'm going to nukulele your face

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Mason: I've got doom in my pocket

Mason: *opens hoodie to reveal Saitama plushie*

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