Staring in the mirror I analysed myself, picking apart every little flaw I believed I had. Why couldn't my thighs be skinnier? Why am I so short? Why can't I be more feminine? What the fuck is wrong with me!?
"Maya!? What's taking so long?" Andy called from outside the bathroom door.
"I can't do this".
"What are you talking about?"
"I can't go Andy".
"What!? Why?" He asked.
"I just... I can't".
"Alright I'm coming in. You better not be naked!" He warned as I heard the door open.
"What's going on?"
"Nothing. I just don't feel well" I lied.
"C'mon Sis. You know I can see through all your bullshit right?"
"Look Andy, I just. I have no confidence okay. I look in the mirror and I just tear myself to bits".
"Okay. You gotta stop that right now" Andy said as he came up next to me. "You wanna know what I see when I look at you?"
"I see my beautiful and courageous sister. That despite years of hiding who she really was and desperately trying to fit in being something that she wasn't, has finally found the strength to be who she truly is. And that person is amazing!" Andy reassured me.
"People mistake me for a guy..."
"Who the fuck cares. You shouldn't! Look Maya... what makes you feel more comfortable, a dress or a pair of jeans?"
"Jeans".
"Heels or skate shoes?"
"Skate shoes".
"Long hair or short?"
"Short".
"And you have all of that. Don't be afraid to be what makes you comfortable. You spent most of your life being what others wanted you to be. Now it's time to be who you want to be and to own the shit out of that okay! Don't worry what anyone else thinks, as long as you are comfortable and happy with who you are then that's all that matters okay".
"Okay. Thanks Andy" I smile as I give him a hug.
"Good girl. Right kiddo, let's get going. We don't wanna be late".
As we arrived at the party I felt nervous as hell. Andy got me a drink to try and calm my nerves and loosen me up a bit. I tagged along with him for a while and did my best to mingle. I got to chat to a few celebrities which was super cool, but the entire time I found myself searching for Ruby. I was dying to see her perform.
About an hour into the night the manager of the club announced Ruby as the guest DJ and she appeared on stage at the DJ booth. She looked fucking gorgeous. Something about that woman in a cap just did it for me. I sat by the bar near the stage, nursing a drink in my hand as I watched the way she engaged the crowd.
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