phil slid into his usual seat at the end of the bar and motions for Jack to bring him the usual. when he slides the glass of whiskey over to phil, he sips it slowly and closes his eyes.
"No," sympathy covered Dan's face.
Another sip from his glass.
"W-what? What do you mean no? I..I thought you..but I thought you love me?"
"I do, Phil. But..Adriana is my priority in life."
Adriana.
He swallowed the leftover liquid and motioned to Jack for another.
Adriana deserved to have consistency in life. She helped him so much, she deserved it.
"I..I understand."
he tips the glass back and let's the brown drink coat his throat.
"When are you leaving?"
"Right now."
"Oh...well. I guess this is it then"
"Yeah..it really is."
Jack fills his glass again and phil nods in appreciation. If anyone understands how Phil is feeling, its Jack. He's heard the prom story plenty of times.
Phil pulls out of his slow dance with Dan and walks towards the entrance, to leave Dan for the last time.
"Hey kid, once you leave you can't come back in." the parent volunteer tells him as he steps out.
He glances back and sees dan standing where he left him, staring at him.
He sends him a small wave and looks at the volunteer, "good."
tears fall hard off of phil's face and he throws the rest of his drink back and when Jack comes over to refill the glass, phil tells him to leave the bottle.
he twists the cap off and lifts the heavy glass bottle to his lips and drinks enough to make his body feel warm. his leather jacket is quickly slipped off and set on the stool beside him, and he raises the bottle to his mouth again as thoughts flood his mind.
Dan never loved you.
He left you.
He didnt care. He doesnt care. He never will care.
You went through so much pain for him, and he didnt even love you enough to come with you.
before he knew it half of his bottle of whiskey was gone, and he had a pool of tears on the bar underneath him.
"look at this fucking pussy! crying over his damn drink!" a random man shouts from the other end of the bar.
phil raises his head and sees a red faced man sending bellowing laughter phil's way.
Jack goes to the man and tells him that hes cut off and the man laughs, getting up and stumbles over to phil.
phil drinks more from the bottle before the man finally reaches him and shoves him, "why you acting like a fuckin pussy? did momma not love you enough?" the man laughs loudly and the rest of the bar looks at him and shakes his head. some sending sorry glances to phil.
phil grabs his jacket and slides it on before pulling out his wallet, setting $150 on the counter for Jack. he grabs his bottle and goes to walk away before the red faced man pushes him again.
"stop touching me." phil mutters under his breath, causing the man to laugh again.
"oh yeah? what're you gonna do about it?" the man says before raising his fist and punching phil in the face.
phil stumbles a little, due to his intoxication, but quickly raises the half empty bottle above his head and let's it crash down onto the mans bald head. once the man hits the ground the rest of the bar is quiet and phil drops the neck of the bottle and steps over the mans body.
"sorry, jack" phil says with eyes watering.
"its no problem man. he deserved it," jack smiles sympathetically.
phil sighs, fuck sympathy. he pushes his hands into his pockets and walks out to his car.
by the time he gets there his mind is flooded with the memories of his mother's fists bruising him and Dan pushing and pulling him in every direction.
why does phil only love people who hurt him?
he shuffles around his glovebox and finds a silver flask and drinks the leftover burning liquid inside.
he presses his head against the steering wheel, grips it tightly and cries softly.
fuck his mom.
and fuck daniel james howell.
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I wrote this listening to San Francisco by 5sos and honestly...I cant tell if its fitting or not. Let me know what you guys think.
Are you guys excited for this? I am holy shit lmao. I have big plans for this so I hope you guys enjoy it :)
Stay safe sweets 🖤
-kam
YOU ARE READING
Alcoholics Anonymous | phan |
FanficPhil Lester has been a mess since he left his home town, his star quarterback days are long gone- leading him to find some sort of peace at the bottom of a bottle. But when his mother dies, he finds himself back where he grew up- wanting to be his o...
