Peter Parker Oneshots

Rock and Roll Buckaroo

Someone said Tony actually owns Area 51 and I'm screaming

I got some inspiration from a comic I saw on Instagram

I had to
•••••

"Dude! We should totally go raid Area 51 with everyone else! They can't stop all of us if we Naruto run," Ned whispered to his best friend. It was the end of the day at school and nobody was working.

Peter giggled. Then he thought for a moment. Spider-Man could totally raid Area 51. He slowly began to nod with a grin on his face.

"Don't tell dad."

~~~

Peter was throwing clothes, a toothbrush, and other necessities into a small drawstring bag. He had to be as inconspicuous as possible. That's hard, though, when your family is Earth's Mightiest Heroes™️ and you live in a tower with a built in AI that can see nearly every room 24/7.

Sneaking as quietly as possible, the teen tiptoed (in my Jordan's) through the kitchen and towards the elevator.

"Ahem."

"Oh shi-"

"Language!" called Steve from someplace in the tower.

"Kid," Tony began, "what are you doing?"

"I uh... I'm...." Peter couldn't take it. He felt himself bursting from shame of trying to lie to his dad. "Imgonnastormarea51withNedandeverybodyelse."

Tony sighed. Then he began to chuckle. Soon, it turned into a fit of laughter.

"Underoos, I own Area 51."

Peter nearly had a heart attack. He quickly pulled out his Starkphone.

"NED CALL EVERYONE WE KNOW WERE GONNA ACTUALLY RAID AREA 51 DAD OWNS THE PLACE!!"

The Avengers slowly trickled into the kitchen once they heard Peter excitedly shouting into his phone.

"Shuri? Get over here ASAP! We're raiding Area 51! No I'm not kidding! Get over here!"

Yeah Groot? Get your space ass down here right now we're bout to free your cousins! Yeah we're raiding Area 51! No no dad owns it it's cool!"

A few very odd phone calls later, the Avengers, Ned, the Guardians of he Galaxy, and about four thousand depressed memelord teens stood outside the gates of Area 51.

Peter ran to the gate and grabbed it. He began to violently shake as he held onto the bars.

"Let me in! Let me iiiiinnnn!!!"

Carol landed next to Bucky and Scott.

"Hey, Carol. What are you doing here?"

"They've got my fucking cat."

"Your cat, woman? I've been taking care of that fur ball's ass for years!" Fury yelled.

Tony dramatically stepped out of his suit and raised his arms.

"Open that bitch up!"

And that's how a shitload of aliens were "released" and taken home with teenagers. In reality, the place was more like a big office/resort for aliens, but it was fun busting in nonetheless.