More Than You Know

3: Tears and Fears

Heya lovelies, right now I'm at a Japanese restaurant and waiting for my food cause it's my brothers birthday so yeah. Lucky him it's Shawn Mendes's birthday today as well. Just so I have this as a memory.. Happy 21st Birthday Mendes!! You deserve the best day ever and to get spoilt heaps!!✨ You've achieved so much since you first started and come so far! Much love, lil_nooby 💫❤️

Anyways, time to get back on track. Quote of the day is by Karolina Kurkova: 𝓣𝓪𝓵𝓴 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮❣️🌸

Please take your time to read the quotes if you can❤️

Enjoy reading!!

lil_nooby
xxxx

(Edit: Lmao I need to read the quotes and really absorb them. My self-esteem is at an all time low and has been for months.)

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"Mendes." I uttered while holding my breath. A pang of guilt sliced through my heart as I said his name, well the nickname I have for him. I was still hurt by his words, but I know that I was in the wrong.

"Lané." I heard him reply softly.

I sat up and crossed my legs, staring at the doona on my bed. "You can take a seat if you want to you know." I mumbled and he plopped down on the end of my bed. An awkward silence filled the air for a few minutes before I finally plucked up enough courage to say something.

"I'm sorry." We both said in unison. I looked up at him and he was giving me a weak smile. I started laughing and soon enough he did to. It was like the past had been erased and we were back to our normal life.

"God, I swear that sometimes we can read each others minds." He chuckled. I nodded in agreement.

"So uh.. Your leaving today huh?" I could see the happiness on his face slowly fade away.

"Yeah.. I am. But before I go Lané, I want to clear everything up between us. I was just angry and stressed and I couldn't stop my mouth from saying the words they did, but trust me what I said is nothing like the person your truly are." He spoke with eagerness in his voice, obviously trying to persuade me that he didn't mean to say the words he did.

"Shawn stop. Your right I am clingy, and I can back off if you want me to I mean your going on this tour and I can't stop you, and I shouldn't because this is a big part of your career and I don't want to be the one person who ruins it for you. I love you Mendes, and I'm sorry for being the brat that I am." I gripped the sheets of my bed and faced down once again, chewing my bottom lip from the nerves.

"Delané Santos, you are not a brat, or any of the things I said you were. I love you heaps and the fact that I have to leave you and everyone again is just making me upset which is another reason why I completely flipped out at you the other day." I breathed a shaky sigh of relief and looked up at him once again.

That's my best friend, right in front of me, Shawn freaking Mendes. How did I get so lucky? The thought keeps racing through my head, I do not deserve this angel. He pulled me into a hug that I knew would be one of the last ones for a while. I snuggled my head into his shoulder and listened to the pace of his heart beat.

His breaths were steady, and he seemed to be calm. A tear dropped from my eye and onto his shirt. I quickly pulled away and went to grab a tissue from my bedside table. They just kept coming, I couldn't stop them.