More Than You Know

21: I dare you

Hey babes, Happy New Years. I'm not going to mention anything to do with Covid-19 and how it's affected 2020. I'm steering clear of that topic from now on out. It doesn't mean I'm not acknowledging Covid-19, its just that for this one chapter I want you all to try and be able to not focus on that topic so much. 

Quote of the day is by Macklemore: "𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎, 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞." ♛

That quote really speaks to me. I never thought I'd change because of anyone or anything but here I am changing. For once in my life I just, I want to be someone different. I don't wanna be that little angelic girl no more. Sorry for babbling on about my life again.

Enjoy reading!!

-ani 

xxx

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"I'm here to see my dad. I'm Delané Santos."

The words rolled of my tongue and cut the air as if they were freshly sharpened knifes. A cool, brisk wind blew in through the window and yanked at my hair. My eyes remained locked on the male, prison guard who was now staring at me in disbelief. I saw his hand discreetly run down the side of his pants to his walkie talkie which he then rose to his lips and whispered into.

"This is officer Alcott to reception, do you read me, over." His voice was low, as if to prevent the taxi driver and I from hearing what it was he felt the reception needed to know. A muffled, scratchy reply which was difficult to interpret rang back through the walkie talkie.

"I have a girl claiming to be Delané Santos here. She's just arrived at the prison gates now. What would you like me to do, do you want me to bring her in where we can test her fingerprints to indicate if she really is Delané Santos or send her away." His reply ticked me off which became obvious to him after I scoffed loudly and rolled my eyes.

"Cuse' me, ain't nobody said I was claiming to be Delané Santos, I'm the real fucking Delané Santos. Why the fuck would I be lying." My voice dripped with attitude - attitude filled with disgust.

 I couldn't believe the guards words. How could he think I was lying about being me? I wasn't some famous rapper or actor. I rarely swore, and I knew better than to swear at a person of authority but at this moment in time I just didn't care anymore. All I wanted was to see my dad. There was a quick reply from reception on the walkie talkie before the guard switched it off and shoved it back in its place on his belt. 

He walked over to my window and gave me a stern, anguished look. 

"Get out of the car. Don't even speak to me like that again." He stated firmly before I sunk back into the seat and pulled on the handle to open the door. I kicked it open with my foot, using all my force and hitting the guard and knocking him backwards onto the ground.

"Shit.." I mumble under my breath before stepping out of the taxi with my phone clutched in my right hand. I stand next to the guard who's laying on the ground clutching his ribs. I slam the taxi door shut and roll my eyes. 

Usually this would have bothered me, I would've cared and been stressed out about hurting someone. I would've felt guilty. Now, I just, I didn't care. It's hard to explain. It was as if all my feelings had disappeared the instant I heard about my dad. Either that or they were all stowed away somewhere in my body and I was ignoring them.