Walk The Jianghu

Future is not easy to change. Exceed your limits, betray your common sense.

No Compromise. Second Coming of Avarice.

'....Because, my emotions are making me do it.' (Seol Ji-Hu)

It was telling him to go.

If he were to speak from his heart, then well, Seol Ji-Hu hated making compromises. More specifically, he grew to hate the idea of it after experiencing that dream. It was all because of his gambling addiction.

He knew that it was bad. He knew that he shouldn't be doing this. He knew that what he did was wrong. Even then – just one more time. Just one more time, and after that, one more time.... Didn't he become a broken mess in the end after making one compromise after another?

Now was the same, too. He knew that he didn't really have to go. He knew that he had already done what was expected of him. He even knew that, if he were to keep stepping forward without realizing his own limits, then sooner rather than later, he might end up getting burned real bad.

However, didn't Gula say it? The future was not that easy to change. That he'd have to go through unimaginable trials and tribulations. That he needed to exceed his own limits.

He instinctively felt it. He felt that, the moment he started thinking, 'Isn't it okay to back away since I've already done enough to create this situation? No one's going to look down on me now, right?', he'd soon be compromising himself once more.

The first time would be difficult, but from the second time onwards, it'd get easier. If he kept reaching compromises every time he faced a situation similar to this one, then.... In the end, he'd go back to how he was. Such a thought strongly bubbled up in his head. This would be more or less like him drawing a line on the sand denoting his own limitations and not willing to cross it.

And so, Seol Ji-Hu decided to never reach a compromise with himself, at least with his emotions.

Like now.

"I don't want to live like that." (Seol Ji-Hu)

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At first it may be hard to understand. I also have re-read certain to ensure my comprehension, but I got it.

The chapter's title was No Compromise. or 'I don't want to live like that'. Not sure which one. But the point is the same. 

make up your mind and don't compromise...

no, that not quite it. damn it is really not easy, but somehow I got it.

in the context of this story, He needs to betray his logic, his common sense, to keep going for the one stupid decision one after another, even though he knew it will lead to eventual destruction. Just like his addiction to gambling. BUT his gambling addiction is somewhat different from our case here. Gambling is bad, keep doing it is worse, and what is gonna come is the worst.

But here, he needs to be just as stupid to change his fate. He is gambling again, but somehow I (or maybe we?) see it in different light. Like it is something positive. Like if he does not gamble, there is no point to his life, there is no point to this story.

And I also a bit moved here, hence I immortalized this parts, putting it in my treasure collection. I feel like I also need to be bold and crazy at least once, to just keep going despite eventual doom, because if I don't, my life will never change. 

It is like taking a risk.