Distant Signals: The Love Between Us

Chapter Nine

The night they kissed sparked a fire in Kongpob—one that burned deep in the pit of his stomach and smoldered with a fervent desire that couldn't be quenched by fantasy alone. He ached to be near Arthit, to have his attention, to know more about him than anyone else, and to be the person he allowed to touch him. In other words, Kongpob had it bad for his senior—his male senior, to be precise.

That, by itself, hadn't been difficult for Kongpob to accept. To him, denying his feelings for Arthit just because he happened to be a man was unacceptable, even if it meant being perceived differently. He could handle the social stigma if it meant living true to himself.

However, despite easily accepting his sexual and romantic desire for Arthit, Kongpob didn't realize the depth of his feelings until he tried to broach the topic of their kiss at the cafe. He hadn't intended to bring it up—not yet, anyway—but Arthit reacted strangely to his teasing and it made him nervous. Rather than adorably turning bright red and sputtering nonsense in embarrassment, Arthit's expression darkened and he almost looked like he was in physical pain. Hearing the resentment and bitterness in Arthit's voice rattled him to the point where he felt an intense need to clear the air between them.

But he couldn't do it, not when Arthit's face contorted in terror when he said he needed to talk to them at the end of their tutoring session, and he decided to back off. Until that moment, he'd taken Arthit's avoidance to be the result of embarrassment over the whole drunken kissing incident, but now he wasn't so sure. Even if he was right and Arthit reciprocated his feelings, clearly he wasn't as open to the idea of dating another man as Kongpob was, or, at the very least, he wasn't as accepting of the fact that he'd kissed another man and enjoyed it. Either way, it made Kongpob's chest ache and he wished he could do something to assure Arthit that it was okay.

But Kongpob knew he couldn't confess or push Arthit too hard. If he did, Kongpob suspected he'd be rejected on the spot and lose his chance with Arthit completely. For now, just being around him had to be enough.

On Tuesday, Kongpob didn't see Arthit the entire morning and, after sitting down with his friends, couldn't resist looking for him during lunch. He found him sitting at the same table as he usually did with the other hazers and when their eyes met, Kongpob felt a rush of excitement and smiled.

But the venom with which Arthit glared at him made Kongpob's heart drop into the pit of his stomach and he turned away. Had he done something wrong? They hadn't left on bad terms Saturday...

"Kongpob?"

May's quiet, soft voice caught his attention and Kongpob turned toward her, automatically smiling. "Sorry," he said. "I got distracted. What did you say?"

"Oh...nothing." She smiled. "It wasn't important."

Ma-prang snorted and loudly said, "She was asking if you were any good at explaining math because she's been having trouble with this last assignment and none of us can help her. Can't you try, Kongpob?"

Kongpob glanced back at Arthit. The hazers were now huddled together, engaging in what appeared to be an argument, and it worried Kongpob. What was going on? First, Arthit gave him the death stare and now his friends were bickering with concerned expressions, all directed at Arthit.

"Kongpob?" This time it was Ma-prang, and she was much louder than May. "So you'll tutor May?"

"Uh, no, I'm sorry. I can't. I'm not that good at math and I've been getting help myself." Not a complete lie, but not entirely the truth either. Math came easily enough to him, but he wasn't the best at it and technically he was being tutored. "Have you tried asking Tew?"

May pushed her hair behind her ear, a small smile on her lips. "No, but I will. Thank you."

Once again, he couldn't resist seeking out Arthit and regretted sitting with his back to them, as it made it more difficult to be subtle about it.