Distant Signals: The Love Between Us

Chapter Twenty

After the final initiation ceremony where the first-years received their gears and officially became their juniors, Arthit snuck away to be alone with his conflicting emotions. He sighed, rubbing cream onto his aching forearms, and listened to the quiet sound of the ocean waves washing up on the sand. So much for having fun this weekend. Weariness had seeped into his bones, and his entire countenance was one of lethargy mixed with a vague sense of nostalgia for what had just ended.

Being the head hazer hadn't suited him, but he'd risen to the challenge to the best of his abilities, and he was proud of his accomplishments. A part of his life was ending, and his heart ached at the loss. Soon enough, he'd graduate and transition to the working world, which was a scary thought. But that wasn't happening yet. He still had a good year and a half of university life left, and he intended to make the best of that time.

Absentmindedly, Arthit continued to rub the cream into his skin. The past few days had taken a toll on him emotionally, and he didn't know how much more he could take. Kongpob, in particular, was a constant source of stress. Arthit could admit his role in Kongpob's ill-advised underwater excursion, but finding him drinking with his friends, when they had explicitly banned the first-years from doing so by themselves, struck a nerve in him that still smarted. He'd thought Kongpob respected him, and his disregard of the rules felt like betrayal and it hurt.

Stupid Kongpob. If they were going to break the rules, they should've been quieter about it. Although, to be fair, he wouldn't have heard them had he not specifically gone up to Kongpob's door. They could blame his dreams for that. After dinner, he'd taken a nap and had a particularly nasty nightmare about Kongpob drowning. It'd left him unsettled, and at the end of his shift patrolling the first-years, he finally broke down and decided to see if Kongpob was still awake.

So stupid. It's not like seeing Kongpob would've made him feel better about the dream.

As he finished applying the cream to his right arm, Arthit heard a sound behind him and saw Kongpob walking up to him. Arthit released a deep breath to calm his nerves. What did he want? Although his anger had subsided a bit, Arthit wasn't particularly keen on talking to him yet and, frankly, wanted to be left alone.

"P'Arthit."

Arthit glanced up at his junior.

"I...want to talk to you about something."

Arthit looked down, shifting so that he sat with his knees pointed at the sky. He rested his arms against his knees and held the tube of cream in a loose grip. "What is it about?" he asked, his voice low. He felt awkward, so he busied his hand by fidgeting with the cream.

Kongpob took a seat next to him. "I...want to apologize."

"For what?" asked Arthit, watching the sea rushing forward and then drawing back into the darkness. Despite the bright moon and shining stars, the sea seemed to disappear into the unknowable night sky. Arthit found it strangely beautiful and unnerving at the same time—much like his turbulent relationship with Kongpob.

"Everything that I've done to upset you."

Arthit scoffed, simultaneously annoyed and amused by his answer. "If you knew it would upset me, why did you do it?"

"I...I thought—"

"Cut it out," said Arthit, interrupting him. He'd asked the question, but the answer no longer mattered. "I don't want to argue with you anymore. I'm exhausted." He stood up and walked away, leaving Kongpob sitting alone in the sand. Originally, he meant to go find his friends, but then he impulsively glanced back at Kongpob and hesitated. He didn't want to fight, but he didn't want that to be the end of their conversation either.