Distant Signals: The Love Between Us

Chapter Thirty-Six

When Bright asked if they were dating, Kongpob expected Arthit to deny it like he had at the cinema, not throw his arm over his shoulder and admit it in front of everyone, even declaring "he's mine!" to all their friends. But that's exactly what he did, and there weren't words capable of describing the sheer joy he felt at that moment. Their friends, especially Arthit's, shouted and cheered at the revelation, making it a bigger deal than it admittedly needed to be and embarrassing his adorable boyfriend in the process.

It meant the world to Kongpob to see their relationship accepted without hesitation, but it meant even more to see Arthit accepted by his friends. He needed their support more than anything.

"Hey, Kong."

Kongpob tore his eyes away from Arthit, who was talking to Prem on the other side of the rooftop, and looked at his best friend.

"We've been friends for four years," M said, still looking a bit flabbergasted by what had just happened. "But you never told me that you like men."

"I don't like men," replied Kongpob. "I like P'Arthit."

"What? Isn't that the same thing?"

Kongpob shook his head. "It's not the same."

"How?"

He released a noisy breath, looking up at the night sky as he considered how to respond. It was difficult to explain, but he'd long since realized that he experienced sexual attraction differently than his peers—in that, he didn't seem to be experiencing it at all. Although he could recognize and appreciate beauty in both sexes, Kongpob remained ambivalent toward sex throughout high school and only did it with his ex-girlfriend because it was expected. According to literally everyone, he should have wanted to have sex—with her or someone else—and if he didn't, it meant there was something wrong with him.

So, he'd done it, and it was fine. Having sex with his girlfriend hadn't repulsed him and he found pleasure in it, but it hadn't changed the fact that he didn't feel sexually attracted to anyone, let alone his girlfriend. At that point, since his experiences didn't match what was depicted in media or described by his peers, Kongpob had started to wonder if he'd simply had too high of expectations and what he'd felt was all there was to desire.

That is, until Arthit drunkenly reached out and touched his cheek, his eyes full of nervousness and want, and asked permission to kiss him. It was the first time he'd experienced that intense, burning need to have someone sexually. Looking back, Kongpob could see that his feelings for Arthit had started developing long before he'd stumbled on him wandering the streets drunk and alone, and that, Kongpob suspected, was the difference. It wasn't because Arthit was a man; it was because he was Arthit—the prickly head hazer who'd turned out to be surprisingly warm and adorable underneath all the posturing.

Knowing no other way to explain it, Kongpob simply said, "If he's not P'Arthit, then I won't like him."

M didn't understand, but Kongpob didn't expect him to. He barely understood it himself. Kongpob found Arthit in the crowd and smiled, watching his boyfriend playfully take a selfie with Minnie and Fang. Arthit stuck out his tongue just as Minnie took the picture, which earned him a slap on the shoulder and a stern scolding that only caused him to burst out laughing, much to Minnie's dismay.

That smile took his breath away, and he never wanted to be without it.

"I'm going to go over there," said Kongpob, gesturing at Arthit and Minnie, who were now taking another selfie.

M grinned. "Can't stay away?"

"No," he replied, honestly. "I really can't."

Without waiting for an answer, Kongpob headed over to where Arthit and Minnie were hunched over the phone, examining the picture on the screen. He slowed down as he came up to them, suddenly feeling a little nervous.