Send Her To Heaven

Tyler Durden

Suddenly a sense of urgency possessed him. He had to find a way into her Instagram account. Assuming she was just like everyone, how was he going to bait her.

Returning to her Facebook page he started going through her likes. 90% of them were inspirational quotes and poetry, 5% of them were fitness videos, and the other 5% were cute cat and dog videos. She didn't like a lot of posts from real people. Strangely the photos she did like were 90% directed at this jerk she wasn't even Facebook friends with. Clicking on his profile Jonah's heart began to sink low into the ground. The boy's name was Viktor Thorson.

According to his Facebook page, he was an avid reader and had a voracious appetite for all sports-related activities. Pulling up their pages side by side he took note of her earlier high school albums. He was in all her high school photos, while she didn't exist at all on his page. Scrutinizing those photos further he noticed her gaze was directed at him. Whereas his was directed at the camera. A small revelation but a massively significant one.

It was hard to tell if Viktor was active on Facebook or just took more precautions then Maria Singer here who left her shit open for the world to see, judge and laugh at. Whatever the case was he left enough of his profile open for anyone interested to know that he had a girlfriend, Denise Steward. Denis, Jolene, and Viktor had all gone to school together. Clicking on Denise's profile, Jolene made a lot more sense.

Denise was very active online. Her latest update was only 4 hours ago. All her posts were either with her boyfriend, her best friend Andrea or plugging her latest Vlog. She was boho-chic with money. Her dresses although, dirty and tattered looking probably cost a fortune. Everything about her screamed Urban Outfitters. She was either wearing something visibly designer or it looked like it cost more than most people made in a month. Creeping her page he spotted a video titled, "BIG RING EMOJI ANNOUNCEMENT."

Clicking on the video his heart started racing. In pictures, they looked like a homely upper-class white couple. In their video, they looked like Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen. He was much better looking on camera, tall incredibly fit. She was the prototype for every plain jane in the United States of America. Although there was nothing overtly beautiful about her, she exuded this undeniable energy. Even he had to admit as annoying as they were, they were one hypnotizing twosome. Sitting back in his bed he began to contemplate his next move.

Jolene was one of three things.

First: She was delusional and Denise had a single white female situation on her hands

Second: She was crazy and in love with someone else's fiance

Third: Her facebook wasn't up to date at all and she was as popular or more popular than Ken and Barbie.

Getting ready for bed, he was at a loss as to what to do next. It's not enough to get accepted, he had to solicit contact.