As much as he wanted his own place he didn't see the use in it. Why pay 2000 dollars for a square space. So what if he was 30 living at home rent-free. It sure beats scavenging for every penny to prove to some loser Chad that he was a big a man child as he was.
"I left you some takeout in the fridge," said his father.
As far as Jonah was concerned his dad was a stupid old man who now has to spend his days making up for his incompetence.
"Thanks!"
"How was your day?"
Ignoring his father's question he went straight to his room.
Popping open his laptop, he noticed the wifi was disabled.
Great no wifi
Forcibly leaving his room he shouted downstairs
"What the fuck is up with the wifi?"
"I changed the password!" his dad shouted back
"What the fuck, why?"
"The new password is in my room on a piece of paper!"
Pissed, he made his way downstairs
"Next time you do something stupid like that WARN ME!"
Erect his father turned to face him, "Watch your language this is my house!"
Firing back with more anger then he was expecting, Jonah retreated to his room
" I just don't like resetting everything!" he said rushing upstairs and slamming his door shut.
Turning on his laptop, he put in the wifi password and started suffering.
JOLENE, ELEMENTAL DATA COLLECTION he typed into facebook
He never used facebook for socializing per se. He was probably the only person on the planet that had a facebook account with no friends. It was functional. He used it to stalk, verify and keep up with the day's events.
Jolene!
Found her!
Scrolling through her Facebook page he was rather impressed. Not because she had a lot of friends or tons of posts and updates but because it was so bare. Most of the pictures were from high school. They were either group shots or pictures of her attending work-related events. In any case, she looked uncomfortable and out of place. Her page wasn't even private so he could see her friend list. Most of her friends were from school or work. Analyzing her likes, her relationships seemed platonic. It didn't seem like she had a relationship with any of these people besides the occasional HAPPY BIRTHDAY on their walls.
Switching tabs to her LinkedIn page, her profile was much more impressive. She graduated top of her class, worked many menial jobs before landing her current menial job. Despite her accomplishments and seemingly intelligent persona, she couldn't seem to get her foot in the door. Works for me he thought.
Hungry he made his way downstairs. Opening the fridge to grab his food his dad was sitting patiently at the table
"If you ever talk to me like that again you'll find yourself homeless!"
Grabbing his food he made his way back to his cave
"DO YOU HEAR ME!"
"Yes...I won't do it again"
Shutting his door he whispered, "stupid old man".
Opening his laptop again he found her Instagram. Sadly, this account was locked. Although based on her Facebook and LinkedIn accounts he could assume her Instagram was just as uneventful as the rest. He didn't understand why people opened social media accounts for the sake of it. Most people are miserable, or take horrible pictures or are simply horrible to look at.
Finishing the rest of his meal, he brushed his teeth, changed his clothes, and calmly placed his laptop on the pillow beside him. Returning to her facebook page he enlarged her profile picture and drifted off to sleep.
Sweet dreams Jolene.
YOU ARE READING
Send Her To Heaven
قصص عامةAt the peak of a midlife crisis, Jonah finds a way to fill the gaping void in his existence by focusing all his anger and frustration on attractive young females.
