Send Her To Heaven

As She Pleases

Assigned seating was both a blessing and a curse. It was a curse if you hated your seatmate. It was a blessing if your seatmate was a smashable 27-year-old girl with self-esteem issues.

"Morning"

"Morning Jolene, how was your evening?"

"It was fine. How was your evening? Did you do anything interesting?"

"Same old same old"

Setting up she looked as if she were about to be deployed into Afghanistan. Giving the sundresses a break, she was wearing a wide-leg khaki-colored cargo pant with a plain white off-shoulder top. Inspecting the details, he noticed the pants were a little too big even for a baggier look. The top was slightly off white which suggested to Jonah a manufacturing defect.

"Can I give you some advice?"

"Sure.."

"Its much easier if you just assume every call is going to suck that way you can only be pleasantly surprised"

Smiling she started dialing. Still nervous, he reached over and hung up her phone. Startled she looked up him like a deer in headlights

"Watch me"

At a loss for words, she turned her body to face him. Taking that as a cue he started dialing.

"Hi, my name is Jonah Alexander and I'm calling from-"

"How did you get my phone number"

"Sir, the survey will take no more than 5 minutes of your time"

"I don't care if it takes two seconds-

"Great, first question-"

"Is this a joke?"

"No sir not at all I can always direct you to my supervisor if you have concerns over the legitimacy of this call"

"Listen you little shit, if you ever call me again I'll track down your address walk over to whatever shitty little cubicle you're sitting in and rip your throat-"

"Well, if you're interested we do facilitate group surveys if you give me your email I can sign-"

"HEY!-

Hanging up, he took off his headsets and turned to face her.

"As you observed you are not obligated to take their shit. According to the rule book, you have to try and get them to do the study, if after 4-5
questions they refuse you can hang up"

Staring at him as if he had just revealed the contents of Sam Jackson's briefcase in Pulp Fiction she sat upright, and dialed without a care in the world.

"Hi, my name is Jo-

"Who is this"

In light of this new information, she paused to recalculate her response

'If you would kindly let me finish I would be happy to respond!"

"If you would kindly fuck off I could continue with my day!"

Before proceeding to the next call she turned to Jonah

"That was gamechanger," she said genuinely excited

"Anything I can do to help!"

For the next 4 hours straight Jonah and Jolene laughed, raged and vented to each other. This is the longest Jonah had ever had a conversation with a woman that wasn't work or school-related.

Looking at the clock he calculated that he had about an hour to get into the good stuff

"So are you new to town?"

"No, not really. I went to high school here then moved to California for a bit"

"Oh cool! What were you doing in California?"

"Trying to make it I guess...

"Like Hollywood?" He said naively

"Sounds stupid but I went to California to pursue my dreams! Fast forward 5 years later, I'm back to where I started"

"Which is where exactly?"

"Broke and alone"

"Not a bad place to be sometimes"

"Yea if you like being a loser"

Irritated he redirected his questions

"So what's the dream now?"

People never hesitate to spill their guts. As long as he was willing to listen they were always willing to talk.

Hesitate she started to blush

"Hey! I can't judge you remember we are sitting in the same seat"

"When you put it that way..my new dream is to become a certified yoga instructor"

"Cool!" he said totally unimpressed

"I just have to find someone willing to train me"

"Sounds like Drivers Ed"

They shared a laugh and she continued to blab on and on about why and how yoga would change her life.

Maybe she thinks if she can just become as big as Denise or interesting then she can win him over or win someone like that over.

"What about you?" she said interrupting his train of thought.

"Me?"

"No Slenderman beside you?"

Missing the mark, he ignored her awkward delivery

"Just hustling for now"

"Come on you! You must have a dream of some kind, something you want to achieve. What do you, Jonah Alexander, want to be remembered for?"

"Let's put it this way," he paused "I want to show the world what they've been missing"

"You're preaching to the choir!"

As you wish he thought