BEST LAID PLANS

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JONAH'S P.O.V

Losers always whine about their best, winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Today Jonah would go from loser to victor overnight.

Finally, this dude's pretentious retreat was coming to town. Every dumb blonde coed and soccer mom either called in sick or canceled their book clubs to attend this once and a lifetime event.

Due to his seniority and consistency, Jonah could alter his schedule however he pleased. While Jolene will be a basket case at work, he will be VIP at this asshole's event. In order to ensure his place in the crowd, it was safer to just purchase a 300 ticket. His package included a free t-shirt a yoga matt and a meet and greet with the one and only Joshua Cage himself. He hadn't decided yet if he would take him up on that offer but he wasn't opposed to shaking hands with the dick head and asking him a few inappropriate questions.

Getting there an hour early, he scoped the place out. As much as he hated to admit it he was impressed. When he thought about an outdoor yoga event he imagined sweaty people, uncut grass and lots of body hair. Even though it was too early to tell there didn't seem to be a single asshole in sight. He couldn't make it through the door without people offering him free friendship bracelets, blocks, and water. He must have been wished a blessed day at least 1000 times by now.

Expecting a line of devotees around the corner not a single person seemed interested. Taking a closer look at the ticket he saw that the meet and greet times were between now and the end of the event. In order to initiate contact, all he had to do is go to his trailer unannounced and walk-in, where apparently Joshua would be waiting with open arms.

BULLSHIT

He had to be joking. Not convinced at all he decided to call his bluff and followed the rainbow of arrows on the ground leading to Joshua's trailer

Not a single security guard in sight. People were just making their way through as if their messiah wasn't within walking distance of them. Standing in front of his trailer door Jonah was a mix of confusion and sadness. Nothing so far had gone according to plan and now he was about to meet the person he was catfishing in hopes that he was justified in doing so.

Staring at the front door all Jonah could contemplate was whether he dared disturb his universe.

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