Save Us | BTS FF ✓

✖END✖

March 19, 2013

Journal Entry # 1 Min Yoongi

Well, hello journal from three years ago. I threw you under my bed the moment we got home from the group therapy. Only remembered you when Mr. Wang mentioned it today. We visited your tombstone today and we all gave a heartfelt speech. During my time of coping I had many short conversations with Suga before he disappeared.

  Suga told me that even if we somehow were at fault for what happen. That at least we were able to meet you before left. I cried that day when Suga left a part of him is still me but now it's only little ole Yoongi. Mr. Wang helped me out with my depression and with Suga. At first I hated therapy but it was good for me to heal and forgive.

  I miss you. So much it hurts every time I remember you but it brings a smile to my face when I walk into your room. Jimin stills cleans it whenever he spots a speck of dust. He says that it helped him feel better at the beginning and now he just does it for you. Like I said at the cemetery we're debuting in three months.

  We'll be an idol group named Bangtan Soyeondan aka BTS. The stupidest name I've ever heard but then BangPD told us the meaning of it and I love it. Lisa, Rose and Jisoo are in another company and have the name you requested, ready for when they debut in the future.

  I don't take antidepressants daily anymore. Only whenever I feel like I'm about to panic for being in an extremely crowded room. I really don't have much to say...since I already said what I wanted at the cemetery. I'll just end this entry with the following.

  I love you with all of my heart and will always love you. I miss you and have forgiven myself. I'm happy that you're happy and I promise to find true happiness in the future along with the members. I'm gonna throw this thing in my closet without a second glance. I love you Y/n.
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June 12, 2013

Journal Entry #1 Jung Hoseok

We're debuting tomorrow and I'm a nervous wreck. I locked myself in your room while the others are out getting food. I wanted to be alone with my thoughts and talk to you. I found this journal after Jin hyung cleaned up the closet. We're moving to a dorm for a while but Jin is keeping the house. We're not ready to move any of your things from their place.

  BangPD told us that when we get famous and gain a large amount of money we could a dorm with an extra room and make it yours. That way you could be with us in the future house. Jin and Namjoon are going to start planning their wedding before the first comeback. They agreed on having a portrait of all eight of us together during their wedding. They'll also make an invitation for you and leave in your room in a few months.

  I told them that they should have a chair for you during the ceremony and party. They loved the idea since you were one of the first to support and encourage their relationship. They'll keep the marriage on the down low for a few years since Korea isn't that open about it yet. I practice my dancing, rapping and spend time with the others before coming to your room.

Being in here calms me down. It's as if you're here next to me whispering encouraging words. Knowing you, you're probably yelling "You're the best person I know! There's no reason to be nervous! All of you are going to do wonderful things!" We are...we are going to do our very best to help as many people as we can in our lifetime.

  We'll always have you in our hearts and by our side till the day we meet again. Oh, Y/n I love you so much. I wish you were alive. I will be the hope for many generations. We will help anyone who wants to be helped. We'll tell them that even if you lose someone, they're never really gone.

They're always their watching you live and be happy. I can hear the others from the downstairs. The food is here. Jimin will be coming up here in a minute and knock on the door to ask me if I want to eat.

I just felt like writing my wreck of emotions today. We can keep this conversation going tonight as I remember our time together.

I love you. I miss you. I understand why you decided to leave. We understand and will never hate you for it. Mr. Wang told us that many want help and that others don't. And we have understand people's choices. Everyone is different and wants to deal with their struggles differently.

Everyone deals with the voice in their own way. Some fail some win. Everyone fights with the voice and makes an impact in some way.

Be happy. Be safe. Be yourself.

I know it can be scary but you have to remember that you only have one life to enjoy. Live it like you want too. Don't let others tell you how to live your life.

It's your choice. Be you.