When Light Meets Dark - Kylo's Sister

What We Want

"Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I'm gazing at a distant star.
It's dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago.
Maybe the star doesn't even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything."

~Haruki Murakami, South of the Border, West of The Sun

Rey

I stirred, then sat up quickly realising that I'd fallen asleep. My entire body felt like someone had shut me up in a box for hours, stiff and cramped. I would've taken the liberty of stretching, except I remembered where I was. Kylo was sitting in the pilot's seat right across from me. He hadn't said anything to me for at least a good thirty minutes but sat, his gloved hands clutching the ship's steering. A glance at the side of his face told me that he was concentrating although I knew he just didn't want to look in my direction. His cape was draped over the back of the seat, almost touching the floor.

"How far are we?" I asked, without turning.

"Not that far."

A thousand thoughts had revolved in my head since we'd started the journey. My anger at Kylo had cooled a little although I couldn't help feeling some resentment towards him. He could feel it, I knew. Although even if he couldn't, I  ]was pretty sure I'd made it clear the previous day. Ertra had come to see me that evening, apologising that I had to work with Kylo again after I'd showed up at her office and poured my heart out to her. I hated the fact that Ertra had seen me cry because I didn't want her thinking I was temperamental when really I was just angry. Angry at myself for believing that Kylo and I could be friends, or that he would never move on. Angry at myself, because I wasn't sure I had made the right decision and the doubt was eating me up.

I could feel the ship trembling as the engines roared behind us.

"Rey, the stabilisers," Kylo said to me and I reached over and turned a bright orange dial until I felt the ship begin to glide. It had been a while since I had been in space. Distant lights twinkled in the void of blackness and if not for them, it would seem as if the ship wasn't moving at all. If only I could appreciate it properly, the beauty of the abyss.

"I'm going to get some water," I heard Kylo say unexpectedly and he stood to his feet. After a few moments, I heard him rummaging around in the storage compartment and then he reappeared with the flask. He stood there, drinking for a while and as just as he seemed about to sit down an impulse seized me and I said,

"You know you're leading her on, right?"

Kylo paused, his mouth full of water and frowned at me. After he swallowed he began to screw the cap back on and answered,

"You're really going to have to be more specific."

My stomach felt tense already, I should've left it alone. But I could only contain my feelings for so long. I always thought I was fearless until Kylo looked at me the way he was looking at me then and all my confidence vanished. 

"I told you all along that Zanna had feelings for you. But you pretty much ignored her, at least until now."

"Why do I feel like you're accusing me of something?" he asked. There was a long pause.

"I overheard you and Zanna talking in the infirmary," I said quickly. I couldn't look at him. "All that stuff you said to her. She must feel really special."

Kylo sighed.

"You overheard or you were eavesdropping?"

"I wasn't--I was coming to ask you something and I didn't want to interrupt."