When Light Meets Dark - Kylo's Sister

Daytime Nightmare

"He is forbidden to love as a man. Passion must find its own way out. Claws tear the heart. Love is the most merciless of gods. Something so powerful will not be stopped, only turned, often to violence. I can almost understand this man."

~Rebecca Ashe

Kylo

Lilo was grinning from ear to ear. Behind her, the rest of my class was drifting out of the training room in handfuls. A few of them looked frustrated and disappointed, not having been able to master the complex moves I had tried to teach them that day. Their expressions and Lilo's made a stark contrast. 

She kept interrupting me with questions. "What did she say?" and "what did she do?" were her favourites.

I answered every question in a low mumble, not wanting the others to catch the subject of our conversation.

"I'm happy for you guys," she said finally. Her joy was sincere and infectious. It was a shame I couldn't share in it entirely.

Ertra told me that for the battle I should select my best students who were of age. I had a few on my mind but was reluctant to offer them up. To have spent all of those months teaching them and watching them progress only to have them enter a fight that would potentially end their lives was an ending I had not prepared for. A year ago I probably wouldn't have cared about the fate of these kids. Now, the threat of death hovered over my mind like a malevolent cloud and I had delayed giving her those names for as long as possible.

"It was the most terrifying thing I have ever done," I breathed, bringing myself back to our conversation. Lilo chuckled. 

"But you practised," she reminded me.

"I forgot everything," I admitted. "Literally everything the second I looked at her." It was true, there had been a horrible moment the previous evening when my mind had gone completely and utterly blank.

"Well by the sound of it, you compensated pretty well," Lilo said. "Where is she by the way? I want to see what the ring looks like." 

I smiled, then frowned.

"I haven't actually seen her," I admitted. "She might be with Ertra, she tends to get anxious before a fight."

We decided to go and see Ertra, it was almost time for our meeting anyway. As we walked I asked her how her parents were and when next she was going to see them. She had told me that the Resistance was like a second family to her and Jake and yet sometimes when I saw her, she still seemed very much alone. 

If I had thought proposing to Rey was a terrifying moment, then I was not at all prepared for the fear that was to envelop me next. The chain of events which followed was set off by the arrival of Hakeem, unexpectedly in the corridor. It was strange, I had never seen Hakeem on that floor. He was always in Command or the cafeteria and he looked strikingly out of place. He froze when he saw me.

"Hakeem," I said, somewhat pleased to see him.

"Kylo," he answered hesitantly, not sounding like he had expected to see me at all. He looked pale. "You need to come down to Command."

"I was on my way, Ertra wanted to meet about--"

"It's not that," he interrupted me, casting a glance in Lilo's direction before his eyes snapped back to me. "It's...not good. Not good at all." And he began to walk.

It was as if the corridors were sliding backwards, like a conveyor belt, while the three of us only moved our limbs in imitation of walking. My mind too felt like it was on that belt, being carried along through the list of the terrible things that might've befallen me. I was vaguely aware of Lilo beside me, and the hammering of my heart. When we started down the second-floor corridor my curiosity and panic overcame me.