When Light Meets Dark - Kylo's Sister

Spell-bound

"Sometimes life has a cruel sense of humor, giving you the thing you always wanted at the worst time possible."

~Lisa Kleypas, Sugar Daddy

Zanna

It was that odd time of day after dinner and before lights out when most people milled around, forming clusters in the dining hall, the library or secluded spaces like store cupboards and empty training rooms. Most of my unit, B-30 or 'Basalt' was packed into the archery room on the third floor. We were in the habit of playing cards there every Thursday night, Angel, Shia, Adrian, Mo and the rest. I had left in the middle of the game, handing my cards to Angel, to use the bathroom. I was about to lose anyway. On my way back - I took the long way back, round most of the West wing - I ran into something which I really shouldn't have, if I had been sensible. But deep down I knew that I had been searching for it.

It wasn't, of course, the first time I was seeing Rey and Kylo together, everyone knew that they were together. Ever since Alice Underton's announcement about there being a rule against sharing rooms, they had started to do a lot more sneaking around. The door to commissary was partially open, and I peered around it. In the half-lit room, I saw Kylo sitting down by the wall. He had Rey on his lap, facing him. I should've left at that moment but I didn't. I watched him stroke the top of Rey's head and murmur something to her which I did not catch. She giggled. Then she started to say something back and as she spoke Kylo stared at her, transfixed. It was a look I recognised from when they had broken up and Rey would walk into the cafeteria, the look of someone utterly spell-bound. It hurt less now because I had seen it so many times before. I was numb to their love.

But no matter how hard I tried, I could not feel happy for them. 

I'd thought that Kylo would hold onto his anger if Rey ever tried to get back together with him. But clearly what he felt for her was greater than that anger. And what about my anger? Why had he kissed me like that, said all those things to me? I wondered often. Sometimes that wondering came when I was in the middle of something, sleeping, training having a conversation. It seemed ridiculous how one small event could become so inflated in my mind. I had meant it to be just a kiss, nothing more. But now it felt as if Kylo had infected me, because all I could think about was that stupid kiss. And I hated him for it. 

Quietly, as Kylo and Rey began making out, I left the doorway to commissary and headed back to the lifts. The others would be wondering where I was.

***

Breakfast the next morning was an assortment of fried foods, a rarity in the cafeteria. I was so used to the strict 'healthy' diet enforced on us by the chefs that I had no idea what to put on my tray. I ended up taking a little of everything.

"Zanna!"

I turned to see Angel and Shia waving at me. They weren't sitting at our usual table.

"Hey guys," I said, taking my seat next to Shia.

"Breakfast is good today isn't it?" Angel said, before shovelling more food into her mouth with her fork. Her hair looked different, neater, and with some curls purposely left out at the front.

"Mhm," I said in agreement. "How come we're sitting over here?"

"A better view," said Shia. I followed her gaze and saw that we were directly opposite a table full of male cadets, a good handful of whom I hadn't seen before.

Angel glanced in their direction, grinning shyly. "New recruits," she said. "They just got here yesterday. "Look at the one sitting next to Adrian, the one with brown hair."