Secrets (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 9

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Adopted.

I’m adopted.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t talk.

I was frozen. Shocked.

They lied to me my whole life.

I’m fucking adopted. I’m not a Tomlinson. I’m not their sister. I’m not Johannah’s daughter. I’m fucking adopted.

I saw the tears in my mom’s—cross that, Johannah’s eyes as she walked towards me.

Suddenly, the control over my body returned and I stepped back. “S-Stop.”

She lied to me. Louis lied to me. My father lied to me.

I’m adopted.

Is this how a broken heart feels like?

As if someone ripped it out of your body and keeps squeezing it, sending shots of pain and stings down your body.

When was I adopted? When was I put in a foster home?

But what hurt the most is that I was so worthless that my own birth mother gave me away.

Worthless.

She didn’t even want me and to not be able to remember when I was adopted, that means I was a baby when all this happened.

My birth mother didn’t even wait for me to make a mistake to give me away. She just gave me away like that.

Was I a regret to her? Did she not have the ability to get an abortion so she just gave birth and threw me? Is that what happened?

I can’t decide who I’m angrier at.

My birth mother who I have no clue in hell who she is that give me away when I was a baby or the people in front of me who have been lying to me my whole life.

They could’ve told me. They could have but they didn’t and that’s what makes it worse.

“A-Aly…Aly we can explain.” Louis spoke up.

My eyes shot to him as anger boiled inside of me. “Explain? Explain what? That I’m adopted and I just found out? That I was so worthless so I was given away at such a young age? What the hell are you going to explain?! That you lied to me? My whole life has been a fucking lie!”

“No it hasn’t!” My mom cried. “Adopted or not, I love you like I love the others! You are my first daughter and I love you so much. You don’t have to be from me for me to love you.”

“See, that’s the thing! If you told me before I would have understood! But now?! Now!? When I’m fucking twenty! Do you know how that feels?! Do you know the pain I’m in right now!? No you don’t because you lied to me! You aren’t my mother!”

“Yes I am!”

“No you are not! And you aren’t my brother!” I yelled at Louis.

His eyes widened at my words. “Aly…I am your brother. I’m your brother and I’ve been your brother ever since you were a year old.”

“Bullshit!” I yelled as I could taste the saltiness of my tears. “You lied to me! When were you going to tell me all of this?! Or did you think that I would go my whole life oblivious to the truth!?”

“We…We were going to tell you.” He told me.

I shook my head as I looked at my mom. She was a crying mess but I couldn’t build up the love to go calm her down because all that seethed through my body right now was hatred and pain.