-Sander Sides Oneshots-

4.Analogical-Some angst :/

Well I did say that this book would include some angst in the description so I made this. This is a Human AU.

Ship: Analogical

Warnings: fighting, panic attacks, mentions of depression and self harm

Quick A/N: I want to say this before the one-shot starts that I don't have an accurate knowledge about Panic Disorder and how it works. I have only read about it so I didn't go in depth about it much in fear that I would represent it incorrectly. If anything is represented wrong about the disorder do not hesitate to comment about it . If you feel that you may have Panic Disorder please go see a professional. Stay safe-

Logan/ Narrator Pov:

"Well then maybe you should just go!" Virgil yelled. Logan step back in shock, almost tripping over some shoes. These words seemed to echo in his mind.

"W-what?" he replied

"I said, you should go." Virgil repeated in a calmer voice. "Maybe we should break up. I don't want to go to therapy, I don't want to hear about what's best for me. You need to just get off my back." Logan stared at his boyfriend in disbelief.

They had been together for almost two years now and over the first year Virgil had begun to show signs of Panic Disorder. Logan had ignored these signs at first, thinking it was just the smaller man's depression that he was already diagnosed for. But, after moving in together it seemed to be clear that he did have Panic Disorder Apparently after Logan's persistent nagging about getting help, Virgil had met his breaking point.

"Virgil I-" Logan tried.

"Go Logan, I don't want to hear it." Virgil said, getting angry.

"This isn't-" Logan tried again

"I said, GO!" Virgil shouted and he pushed Logan out their apartment door. Logan was at a loss of what to do. He knew what would happen to Virgil if he started to regret pushing Logan out. He would hurt himself.

He called his friends Roman and Patton but got no response. He called Virgil's single dad but also got no response. He called everyone he knew multiple times but nobody seemed to pick up. Was this some kind of sick joke? Why was nobody answering the phones?

He collapsed on ground.

Logan's breaths got short.

He felt as if the walls were closing in on him, although he was outside.

The sides of his vision were clouded.

He was hyperventilating.

His lungs were blocked.

His vision filled with tears.

He heard someone open his apartment door and gasp. Virgil. He felt him kneel down next to him. He heard words being whispered in his ears. He couldn't hear them. He tried desperately to hear the words being told.

Then Virgil wrapped Logan in a hug. Suddenly he could hear the words he was being told.

"In for four, hold for seven, out for eight." Virgil repeated in his ear over and over again. Logan followed his instructions until he was breathing normally again. Then he cried into Virgil's shoulder and Virgil comforted him.

Telling him that he never meant to push him out.

That he never wanted to break up.

That he loved him.

After sitting outside their apartment for half and hour, Logan stopped crying. Virgil coaxed him inside and onto the couch. Virgil made him tea and apologized for yelling at him earlier.

"Look Lo, I'm sorry for all the things I said." Virgil said as he sat down next to him. "I-I wasn't feeling like myself this morning and when you told me that you booked that appointment with Dr. Picani tomorrow, I snapped. I'm so sorry Lo." Virgil apologized.

"I-it's quite alright Virgil." Logan said.

"No it isn't" Virgil responded. "I had no good reason to lash out on you like that and cause you to have a panic attack. I'm a terrible boyfriend."

"It's okay Virgil, I forgive you. I just have never experienced a panic attack like that. This one was different. It's just so ...so...so-"

"Frightening. Like your world is falling apart before your eyes and you can't do anything about." Virgil suggested.

"Yes. Like that." Logan said. Silence filled the room but Logan's mind was racing with so many thoughts the he couldn't grasp any of them.

"Look, Logan, I think we should both see Dr. Picani tomorrow." Virgil said.

"I think that would be a good idea." Logan managed to respond. Logan then grabbed Virgil's hand and held it. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Word count: About 626 words

Written: 8/18/19

Published 8/18/19