A Chance Granted By the Blue Moon [Yamazaki x OC Fanfic]

34

            I wasn’t really surprised when, upon our arrival back at the Edo mansion the Shinsengumi were currently taking up residence, I looked up at the roof and saw Yamazaki watching like a hawk. I would have joined him up on the roof, but my arm hurt too much for that. He must have realized it; he hurried down to join me. Harada and Nagakura headed to the commons room to relax.

            “Did you at least remove the bullet?”

            “No. I’m afraid to,” I admitted. He lead me to the water well in the yard and he very carefully tried to remove the bullet. Even the slight movement caused searing pain and I clenched my fists tightly. “Is it that deep?”

            He nodded. “Wait here. I’ll be right back.”

            I sat alone for a while, hoping he’d come back soon. All I could do was stare up at the blue sky and wait. I was undoubtedly tired after being in my demon form for so long, but I had to live with it for the time being. Looking back down towards the grass, I could see a cat prowling in the tall grass. I smiled before another wave of pain pulsed through my body.

            Half-running, Yamazaki reappeared with a somewhat small metal tool. Using it, he grabbed the bullet and yanked it out. I exhaled in relief as he pressed a wet cloth against the wound. My muscles were tense with pain, but I knew it would subside soon. He ran a hand down my hair before it joined mine in pressing the cloth against my arm. “It’ll be better, soon.”

            I didn’t know what to say, but looking up into his eyes tripped the guilt inside of me. I took a long and deep breath. “I’m sorry. I should have stuck with you before. I just… If there was a chance that Kazama was there, I… I wanted to get revenge.”

            “You need not do these things alone,” he reminded me, sitting closely to me and making sure the cloth was still pressed onto my arm. “You have those who wish to help you.”

            “I understand that, now. I won’t forget that next time. I also wanted to apologize for falling asleep on the job before.”

            “It couldn’t be helped; I should have understood that you would not be able to sleep. I feel I should be apologizing for earlier. Seeing you like that, it…”

            “You mean as a demon?”

            He shook his head. “Your emotions were getting the best of you and it was my scolding that caused it.” After a long pause, he realized what I said. “I already told you that I don’t mind if you’re a demon. Seeing you like that, moving to save me… I’m grateful.”

            “It wasn’t much.”

            “That was what caused that wound, was it not?”

            “I took that bullet because I was reckless. I’m much like a bloodthirsty monster in my demon form. I take chances. Maybe that was why I was good at what I did, back then…” I removed myself from him to lie against the grass. “We can’t go on like this much longer.”

            “The Shinsengumi is swaying. I am… afraid, frankly, to see what is going to happen.”

            “But as much as we want to… We can’t leave. If Harada and Nagakura plan to leave, then they’re already down two captains. I’d feel bad.” I argued, closing my eyes. “What do you think?”

            “I feel the same way, but… I also do not think it wise to stay.”

            “Yeah. I’m in the same boat. I mean… swords can’t beat guns. And even if every one of our men learned how to use firearms, the enemy has stronger guns. This is a really rough situation. Nonetheless… We’ll stay for just a bit longer.”

            He tied the cloth around my arm. “Hopefully things look up soon.”

            I nodded in agreement and sat up. “Agreed.”

~~

            I stood silently, eyes locked on to Harada and Nagakura. They were saying their final goodbyes to Chizuru and the other captains; I started heading towards them to bid them farewell. Yamazaki was out doing things for Hijikata; he had already said goodbye.

            Stepping up to them, I bowed my head gently. “I hope you two live long and well and that you’re journeys are safe.”

            “The same to you, Ayamei,” Harada smiled at me gently. “Hopefully we’ll see one another around.”

            “Yeah. It’s not like we’re completely disappearing or anything like that,” Nagakura grinned. “Good luck, kid.”

            “Thanks.” They waved a final time before they turned and started off. I was left standing alone; Saito, Chizuru and Shimada stood a bit behind me at the beginning of the bridge as they said goodbye to Harada and Nagakura before I appeared.

            As I watched the two walk off, I began to realize that the Shinsengumi really was dying. Captains were leaving, one by one. Yamazaki was right; it was completely unwise to remain here, but still… I couldn’t bring myself to leave. I felt almost as if I belonged here, fighting against the Satsuma and Choushuu. The Shinsengumi had almost given me a new family.

            But how long until it, just like my old family, burned and crumbled? How long until I lost the one thing- the one person- I cared for most in this world simply because I refused to leave?  How long until reality caught up?

            “Um, Ayamei?” Chizuru practically phased behind me; I jumped a bit and spun on my heals. “I’m going to make some tea, and I was wondering if you wanted some…”

            “Oh. That sounds nice, actually. Thank-you.”

            “It’s no problem. It won’t be long.”

            “Take your time,” I forced a smile and bowed my head to her, heading off towards the lone sakura tree in a corner of the property we rested upon. I leapt up into it, catching one of the falling petals and holding it between my fingers. It was soft to the touch, but if I gripped to hard then it would tear. Fragile, yet beautiful.

            “I’m surprised to find you here.”

            “Afternoon, Susumu.”

            He accompanied me, sitting on another branch of the tree. “So Harada and Nagakura left…”

            “Yeah,” I nodded grimly. “I know we should leave, but…”

            “I understand,” he nodded. “If you want to be here when the inevitable happens, then I’ll be right here with you.”

            “…Tomorrow I’m going to step out for a bit. I want to go back… I want to walk my path.”

            “Ayamei… You crossed an ocean. You can’t simply go back.”

            “When I can, I will. I don’t know when it will be, but I’m going to re-take every step. I’m going to reflect on every decision. And the path will start at the beach that we landed near. I will sit there and I will think about every choice I’ve made. Was it worth it? Was any of it worth it? That’s what I want to know. That’s what I want to find out.”

            “…Then I won’t stop you. Understand, though, that your being here has been more help than you could know.”

            “So I’ve been told,” I sighed and leaned back against the tree. Yamazaki said not another word. Instead, he moved his hand to meet mine and let the silence speak for us.