She's My Heartbreak Girl

chapter 31

I thought for a moment,

if I do this it'll all come spiraling back!!

DON'T DO IT!!!!

But if I do I could realize Luke was who I was meant to be with...maybe he has changed...

DO IT!!!!

God I'm a hot mess.

He looked at me like an anxious adorable puppy and I looked around for a moment wondering if anyone was going to come in and save me, but we were too far from the rest of them for them to even notice. Plus my phone was still being used to weird selfies and videos.

I brought my eyes up to his piercing blue ones that made my heart beat fast, my stomach turn to butterflies, but made my mind turn with a thousand questions and love songs.

"um..." I paused again, "okay..."

What was I getting myself into?

I'm such an idiot!

I felt like one of those people in the movies or in stories who makes one of the most life changing choices they can and they immediately regret it afterwards.

He smiled big and reached for my hand.

I put it behind my back, "I'm not going back that fast." I said in a more pissed off manner than I meant to.

He nodded a bit disappointed and then walked down a hallway into a room that I assumed was the dressing room.

I followed and once we were in the room he shut the door and then sat on the black couch that sat on the wall towards the end of the room while I stood.

"So...how've you been...?" He said softly looking down and then back to me.

"Okay I guess. Better now that I have a boyfriend who respects me." I replied harshly.

"Okay, that's what I wanted to tell you and talk to you about. Do you remember what you said to me the last time me saw each other?" He questioned firmly planting his feet and resting his arms on his knees.

"Not exactly."

"you told me that when I changed we could get back together. I listened, that's all I've been thinking about since that day. I've changed completely, I'm a different person." He said sitting forward a bit looking over at me.

"Luke, you don't get it. I can't trust you! How do I know you've changed? How do you expect me to trust you after what you did? How do you expect me to just fall right back into you all over again?" I sounded like I was interrogating him.

Gosh I can be a bitch.

I crossed my arms and looked at him then quickly averting my eyes to the floor quickly.

"I don't expect you to fall into me or trust me or believe me or do anything. I just want you to give me a chance to show you and prove to you I changed...please Sam. that's all I ask of you." He had a pleading tone in his voice.

He wanted me to believe him.

He wanted me to trust him.

He wanted to prove himself all over again.

He quoted a song from my favorite musical...

"I have Ashton. He makes me happy. You hurt me behind belief, you have no idea what you did to me. You know how many times I've wanted to open my scars?! Do you know how embarrassing it is crying in public or having People see your problems written on your arm for the rest of your life? You don't get it!" I was yelling by this point without meaning to and I felt bad about it, but I couldn't help it!

I was angry!

I was confused!

I was hurt!

I was...

I don't even know what I am anymore.

"Sam, I don't understand it, but I've been wearing a broken heart for the whole time. I've never stopped loving you and being away from you he made me realize how much of an idiot I was. Please just let me show you I've changed?" He spoke so calm, God it frustrated me.

I pondered his option.

I mean I was already in this deep, so my mind and heart took over.

"I'll give you a chance, but I'm still with Ashton. Don't tell him about our past okay? we never dated, we never did anything together, we just met to him alright?" I said instructing him.

"Deal." He smiled big.

Luckily James walked in looking at me, "hey babe and douchewad."

I tried hard not to laugh, "hey you. Are we going?"

Luke stayed silent as James nodded.

"Bye Luke.." I said softly as he waved with a smile and we left.

"Thank you so much." I smiled and hugged James.

"Do  I have to kick someone's ass?" He asked.

"not yet." I laughed and let him go and started walking.

"We need to go find your boyfriend and say bye." James said catching up to me.

"Alright." I responded as we set off to go find Ashton.