Titania Blake

Chapter 13

For three days we gathered allies from the four winds, just like Jake said. It provided ample distraction in the wake of Grace's death, especially since I spent most of my time devoted to avoiding Tsu'tey. After massing fifteen clans to the Tree of Souls, we found out Quaritch was coming for us the next morning, and I escaped to my Avatar to think. "Zasha, there must be a way to get more creatures on our side. We can't take all this on alone."

"Titania." I started at the sound of Tsu'tey's voice. I turned to leave but he grabbed my forearm before I could get far.

"Olo'eyktan." I greeted, not turning to face him.

"Titania, look at me." Too smart to ignore him, I did as I was told. "You have been avoiding me."

"I have been busy. We all have."

"Do not lie to me, Titania. it does not suit you."

"And what would suit me?"

"Tell me the truth, Titania. Why have you been avoiding me?" I ran through everything that happened in the past few days, getting my thoughts in order.

"First, what you said about Jake after you found out he and Neytiri had mated. If he's a 'demon in a false body' then so am I. Second, I begged you and everyone else to listen when we told you to run to safety. We could have saved more lived if you hadn't been so stubborn. Third, I begged you not to tie me up. You did anyway. You think I want to be anywhere near any of The People who betrayed my trust, who took away my sense of safety?"

"Titania, I only-"

"I really don't want to hear it, Olo'eyktan. I begged you not to bind me. I was bound when I was attacked. I couldn't move. You said it was too late for me to feel safe."

"Titania! Listen to me!" I snapped my mouth shut, tilting my head down in respect. "I thought you had helped JakeSully betray us."

"Yeah, well. How would you know I would never betray The People? It's not like I told you this was the first place I had felt safe and accepted since I lost my sight and my squad. It's not like I ever said how much I love The People and Hometree and every thing on Pandora. No, I was interloper, and I should have just stayed where I was before, blind and alone. I knew what to expect from the Sky People: disregard and betrayal. I'm not so different from them, am I?"

"Enough." I curled in on myself as far as I could with his hold on my arm. "Titania," I flinched when Tsu'tey used a finger to lift my head by my chin, "do you fear me?"

"I don't know." Tsu'tey's hands fell away from me at that.

"Do you truly hate me?" I sighed.

"No, I do not hate you, Olo'eyktan."

"Why do you not use my name? You never addressed Neytiri's father like that."

"You are not Eytukan. I viewed him as a father."

"And what do you view me as? Am I still your friend?" gain I sighed.

"You were my teacher, now you are my leader. It is instilled in me to address superiors by their ranks."

"But not Eytukan.*"

"Just let it go."

"Use my name."

"Why?"

"Please."

"Tsu'tey, are we done?"

"You will not leave my side in battle tomorrow."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"You cannot do this. I am capable of fighting on my own. I don't need you or anyone else to protect me."

"Tell me, have you spoken to the one you love yet?  Have you confessed to him?" The change of topic confused me. 'Why is he asking about that?'

"No. Why would I when he loves another?"

"Titania, who is it?"

"Have you been speaking to Jake? Did he tell you? I'll kill him. He knows how I feel about my privacy. He knows I never wanted you or anyone else to know. Damn it!"

"Titania-"

"It's true, okay? I'm sorry, I never intended for you to know. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I never wanted history to repeat itself, but I couldn't control my heart. By the time I realized that I loved you it was too late for me to stop myself. I just... I have to go. I can't take your rejection right now." I spun away before he could say anything.

I made sure I was completely alone before I went to the Tree of Souls. Another scan to make sure I wouldn't have an audience, and I folded myself down to sit and connected my queue to the tree. "Eywa, mother, I know you are there. I seek your guidance. You gave me The Gift for a reason, I'm just not sure what use I can be in this fight.  know you won't join us in this fight, but can you at least tell me what I'm supposed to do? if I do nothing, Quaritch and the Sk People will kill everyone here. And once that's done, they'll kill all life as well. They have no regard for any life but their own. They went so far with their own mother that they can't even give their dead proper burials. My own family were never returned to their mother after their deaths. They will do the same here. Please, Eywa, what should I do? Give me a sign." I got no response, and removed my queue. 'I hope I can make you proud, Eywa.'