Sequel to Forgotten Conscience, Faith attempts to deal with the consequences of the events after the battle with Omega. But how well will she do? And what will her friends do to help her? Ranked #5 in Buffy.
I've been sitting here in bed, waiting for her in my best undies.
I've got myself all dolled up to look nice, make up, perfume, the whole nine yards. It's not something I've usually done, but I figure I have to do something. Things are weird and I need to find a way to make us connect again. Any way to connect.
But I've been waiting here for hours, holding the sheets against my chest to keep warm until she gets here. She isn't here yet though. Where is she? Joyce told me she never stays out past 2 am, but it's 3:30 and she still isn't back.
I'm worried something might've happened to her, or worse something didn't happen and she doesn't wanna come home, doesn't wanna come home to me. I wanna be with her so bad but, she obviously doesn't wanna be with me.
I hear footsteps downstairs, they're treading lightly but my slayer hearing catches it clear enough.
It's her I'm getting that down low feeling I used to get when she was around. God I missed that feeling. It always made me feel so incredible, so alive. There's only one thing that makes me feel more incredible, something I'm hoping will be happening as soon as she walks through that door.
I hear her make her way up the stairs and that down low feeling I get starts spreading through me. I feel her outside the door and it bugs me that she's just standing there.
It's like she doesn't wanna come in.
I sit up, letting the sheets drop to my waist and watch the door. She opens the door and the light shines around her like a beautiful angel.
She looks... tired.
"Buffy..."
She walks in and shuts the door behind her.
"Where have you been?"
She walks over to the dresser.
"Out."
She takes her shirt off, back to me, and pulls a pyjama top from the dresser. She puts it on.
"Are you okay?"
She takes out matching bottoms before taking off her pants and replacing them with the pjs, never facing me.
"Fine..."
Why is it I can never seem to believe her when she says that?
"I was worried."
She pulls the elastic out of her ponytail and puts it on top of the dresser before coming over to the bed.
"Well I'm fine, see? Now scooch over."
Scooch over?
She waves the backs of her hands at me and I understand. I move over to what I guess is my side of the bed and she climbs in. We sit together quietly me staring at her, her staring at her feet.
"Buffy..."
She turns away from me and lies down.
"Goodnight."
I slide down on to the bed trying to get comfortable. The feel of her lying next to me makes that impossible. I turn to her and kiss the back of her neck. She doesn't respond. I kiss her shoulder and again she doesn't respond.
She can smell the perfume on me, I know she can. She probably smelt it as soon as she came in. So why doesn't she care?
I reach out and caress her arm gently, and get nothing.
Come on B, give it up. We both know you want to.
I put my arm around her and press my nearly naked body against hers. I nuzzle my face into her neck and she finally squirms, but not in a good way. My hand moves down her stomach and slips under her pjs, against her panties.
"Faith..."
Gotcha.
I flick her earlobe with my tongue and she squirms uncomfortably. She pushes my hand away and moves her body away from mine.
"Buffy, what's wrong? Don't you want to...?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"I said no okay? Just leave it."
"But..."
"Faith I'm tired, all I wanna do is sleep."
I slip my hand up under her pyjama shirt from behind and seductively push my way up and around her till I cup her lace covered breast in it. I gently kneed her breast, desperate for some sort of response.
"Bet I can change your mind."
"Not really."
I guess she really isn't in the mood.
I pull my hand away even though I don't want to.
"Are you sure?"
"Mhmm..."
"Cause if you want we can..."
"Faith?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm trying to sleep."
I turn over in defeat and stare at the opposite wall.
"Right, sorry..."
She never used to be too tired. I know being dead must've been really hard for her but I thought, maybe if I got her in the right mood she might feel better. I guess I tried too soon. She's only been back for a day. She's still getting over, whatever it is she's getting over.
I shouldn't have pushed so soon, I should've waited. It was just, she's been gone so long and I haven't... I should've waited. I should apologize to her.
I roll over and am about to touch her.
Tomorrow... I'll apologize to her tomorrow.
I roll away from her again and close my eyes.
I can make things right tomorrow.
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