She Who Was My Love (girlxgirl) (Book 2)

Fall to Pieces

Willow's POV

This is good. This is good, I can tell Tara that things are better between Buffy and Faith and she won't leave me.

I go into my room and I feel like my heart is gonna get ripped apart.

"Tara? What's going on?"

There's a suitcase on the bed and clothes all around it.

Tara looks like she's been crying.

"I... I have to go."

"Go? Go where?"

"Away..."

"Why?"

She finally looks at me for the first time in days.

"You, you know why."

"Tara I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I have to say it before you know I mean it. I know what I did was wrong. I knew it before I did the spell, but I did it anyway. But things are better now, I think, and if they aren't completely better yet then they're at least heading in the right direction. You should've seen the two of them today, they look... happier."

She starts putting her clothes in the suitcase.

"This isn't about them anymore. This is about me... and you."

"I thought this was about what I did."

"It is... and it isn't."

What?

"Tara, you're not making any sense."

"A long time ago, I made a promise to... s-someone, someone very important to me. I promised I'd never use magic f-for the wrong reason, and that's what I did when we resurrected Buffy."

"When I resurrected Buffy you mean. You weren't the one who did the spell."

"I was there. I was a part of it. And I ignored every instinct I had about the spell to do so. What kind of person am I that would do that?"

I walk up to her and she stops packing to take a few steps back. It makes me stop.

"You're a good person Tara. You're a kind and gentle person, with an incredible heart, the heart that made me fall in love with you."

"That's, actually one of the problems."

"Tara, don't say that."

She takes a deep breath. I move close to her.

"The reason I ignored all my instincts and morals, was you. Because I loved you so much and wanted to trust in you, but we weren't doing the right thing, and I knew that. I knew that and I still let it happen. I don't know that I can be with someone who would do that. I love you so much I'd do anything for you and, I don't know why but that scares me more than I'd like."

I fall to my knees and put my arms around hers.

"Tara, don't leave me. Please don't leave me baby."

Her hand reaches down and touches my head. Her breathing starts catching in her throat like she's holding back from crying.

"Willow..."

I look up at her, tears in my eyes.

"I love you, nothing will ever change that. I just, don't know who I am anymore. Until I know, I think I have to be alone."

"Tara please, we can work this out."

She pulls my arms from around her and kneels in front of me.