A Small Voice

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Who shall also confirmyou unto the end, that ye may be blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Corinthians 1:8

All of a sudden, it was fucking over. The last weekend of college had finally arrived. While laying on my bed, the events of the last three years floated through my mind. Throughout the semesters, I begged for the end to come, pleaded with the angels, with God Himself. I lamented for three years, especially before I met Tammy. Now, I felt confused, I guess because of her. For over two years, Tammy took care of me. I never really had anyone take care of me. Sandy from the coffee shop did a little, but not like this. Tammy took care of me completely, took care of my manic anxiety and depressive tendencies and my repressed sexual desires. I had pretty much stopped cutting and abusing myself by the end. I was satisfied. She satisfied my hyper-carnality. I'm not sure what would have happened to me without her. They probably would've tossed in a mental institution, or worse—I'd be dead. Tonight was our last Friday night together. Tammy was leaving for California to study law, and Rachel and I were off to Chicago, prior to a quick stop back at home to get hitched.

A familiar tap, tap, tap jarred me out of me thoughts.

I opened the window, and Tammy crawled in. It made me laughed watching her come head first in my little window. She'd gained a bit more weight now. I thought it made her even cuter. She had such bad eating habits: junk food and beer regularly. Although, the extra padding did wonders for her already fabulous curves!

"Is the window shrinking?" I teased.

Tammy laughed, "Quiet, you skinny little bitch".

"I think you're sexy with a few more pounds"

"You just like my big tits, I knew you were a boob man the first day I met you."

I laughed, I wasn't going to deny it "I also like ass."

"You're the ass." She chirped while attempting to slap mine, only a few quick twists saved me from an old school spanking. Although, I am sure I would have come back for more.

She had a really big bag with her tonight. It was jammed full of beers, burgers and fries, and no doubt a couple of strong joints.

"You know I don't eat junk food," I complained.

"I need to fatten you up before we leave. You look like a prisoner of war. Your parents will freak."

She opened a beer and handed it to me, then took one for herself.

We both drank it quickly, the cold brew tasted so good. I would have never thought I would be crushing beer every Friday night three years ago, but now I couldn't imagine a Friday without it.

"I'm really going to miss our weekend rendezvouses." I took a sip, rather depressingly. I didn't like the thought of it ending. It made me sad.

"Me, too. I remember seeing you the first time here at school."

"Oh yeah?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, you started sitting in the back after a few months instead of up front with your pretty girlfriend, and I thought you looked like a heroin user."

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning something like that." It was a bit of harsh observation, but it still made me smile.

"I liked it. I thought you looked sexy, like a sexy junkie. Plus, I realized I was not the only freak at this institution. Everyone else seemed to have the personality of dry toast."

I closed my eyes and put my head back, thinking of my first impression her. "The first day I noticed you, I thought you were very cute," I smiled reminiscently. "Being so shy, I enjoyed the way you took control. Weird, this is the first moment I realized I am attracted to women who take control."