My girl Neighbor

38

"Sweetie, you haven't said a word for ten minutes now and you're making me worried."

My Mom is now sitting behind me, caressing my back.

"I Uh- I think, I feel sick too." It's true though, hearing what she said makes me wanna puke. I don't want to jump to conclusions too but, why her brother will say that the guy she is with is her boyfriend?

I wanna go there so bad but I don't want to make a fool out of myself and also, our relationship is not official. We don't have any label, what we are is what we are.

But still, we had a deal that she would not date.

"Mom, j-just take a rest, ok? I'll just lie down on my bed too." I walked out of her room and didn't wait for her to answer me.

I closed my door and threw my body in the bed.

I wonder if the car in her parking was her boyfriend's or her brother's. Just thinking about the boyfriend part, makes my chest tightened.

I honestly don't know what to think at this moment. I feel like I was struck by lightning. The pain is unbearable.

Do you ever feel so much pain it causes you to get numb? That's exactly how I'm feeling right now.

I cleared my head and took out my phone from my pocket and started texting.

Hey, can I come over?

I hit send and patiently waited for her reply. If she will reply.

I have to think straight just in case she replies yes. I don't want to confront her with my emotions unstable.

I don't know the whole story and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Though I will admit, waiting for her to reply is a lot harder than it looks. My fingers started to fidget through the phone.

My mind is starting to get blank when my phone buzzes.

Later.

That's all? Later? I hit reply and started typing again.

Why? Is your boyfriend still there?

I don't mean to be sarcastic but that reply pushed my buttons. Having the anger in my head, I remember my conversation with Sam earlier.

I might get hurt but I'm willing to risk it. Those are my words. My fucking words, idiot!

Speaking to Sam and saying those words, those brave words compared to what I'm feeling right now, I surely look like a fool.

Pretending to be brave my ass.

I've been staring at my phone for 5 minutes now and still no reply from Emma.

Kill me! Kill me now! I groaned.

I sat up in my bed when my eyes turned to the frames hanging on my wall.

One frame was at the park, I was three I think, and my Mom was hugging me from behind.

Mom!

I stood up very fast and walked towards her room. I gently open the door and peek. She's now asleep. I remember she was cooking earlier.

I closed the door as gently as I could and headed to the kitchen. I took my phone and checked if she replied.

Nope.

Still not.

I took a deep breath and tried to take Emma away from my mind.

My Mom is sick, she needs me. I'll deal later with my heartache.