My girl Neighbor

40

I have no idea how I reached my school. I don't even remember how I drove up to here. Though, I remember a couple of drivers honking at me, for what reason, I don't know.

"Hey."

It was Kate knocking on my window.

As I rolled down my window, I heard the bell goes off.

Shit, I'm late.

"K-Kate, what are you doing here, the bell goes off." I told her not looking into her eyes.

"I know, I've been knocking on your window for 2 minutes now but you're staring into space, are you okay?"

I looked at Kate, she looked worried. She skipped her class because of me and I feel bad.

I sighed, "I don't know, I don't know how I feel."

And I burst out crying. I couldn't hold it anymore.

Kate panicked, she reached for the unlock button and went inside the passenger seat.

"Oh my god, Jenny, come here."

She hugged me as she repeatedly asked what happened.

I am crying uncontrollably and I'm glad someone is here for me.

I think it was like 10 minutes before I could pull myself together. I looked at my rearview mirror, god I looked awful.

My eyes are all cried out, and my makeup is ruined. I tried to fix myself but Kate stopped me.

"Hey, you look fine. Tell me, what happened?"

Should I tell her? She looked genuinely worried about me and I mean, she's my friend, right? I guess there's no harm in telling her. Cause I really need to get it out, like right now.

So I told her everything. And she was a great listener, she did not interrupt me or anything. She was just holding my hand the entire time till I finished.

"And, yeah... that's pretty much it."

It followed a long silence. I guess she's absorbing everything and thinking of the best words to tell me.

Her hand is still with mine. I wanted to take my hand back cause in a way I feel like cheating with Emma, which I am not, and also, didn't she just have her boyfriend stay over the night in her apartment?

God, thinking about that feels like I'm dying.

Just thinking of him touching her skin, kissing her, it's driving me mad.

Kate sensed that.

"Hey, hey... I'm here, hold my hand, squeeze it if you ever need to."

I looked at her hand, I wished it was Emma's, but somebody was holding that now.

I never thought that this kind of pain existed, you know.

Like somebody is literally crushing my heart, it's hard to breathe and when I do, I just feel this never-ending pain.

How did I get myself here?

Should I wish that, I'd rather not meet and get to know her? Not be in love with her?

No. A big No.

Even if she's hurting me right now, she's one of the best things that ever happened in my life.

She's one of the reasons I was happy.

Was happy. Past tense.

"Jen? Again, you're staring into space."