Wild Magic Three: The Shade of the Earth- a M/M fantasy shifter romance

15- Freely and Daringly

ROBERT—

Sami stayed with Lady Sera again, in the same spot beneath the tree in the courtyard. He was at least dressed this time, though he didn't wear a shirt. His nipples were puckered, pink and pointed in the cold wind. I watched Sami and Sera for a while from near the stables, studying the way they interacted.

Sami had grown close to Sera over the last few weeks, an interesting friendship if I'd ever seen one. But at the same time, they fit, the woman and the feral man. She was good for him, kept him occupied and out of trouble, and he seemed to calm her the way I'd only seen Cain able to do before. The only other he truly let himself relax around was Silvia, and I was glad he seemed to have found a calling as something like her assistant.

A little after noon, Sami came to find me, a big smile on his face. I met his eyes and realized I was smiling only when my cheeks started to ache.

"Let yourself realize how you feel when you're with him", I heard Nibley say as my heart jumped a little at the way Sami practically skipped over to me. "Let yourself see how you smile and laugh when he does."

I shook my head, clearing my friend's voice from my mind, and held my hand out to Sami.

"C'mon, let's get some lunch, Sami," I said, leading him back towards the mess hall.

Sami easily moved into step beside me, his fingers tangling with my own.

"Let your body feel."

I hadn't even realized I was holding his hand until the words flashed through my mind. But his fingers felt right twisted with mine. His skin was hot, distracting against my own once my mind processed it. After what had happened in the woods, I'd become aware of my attraction to him. My very unwanted, confusing physical attraction. But this... this was different. This was warm somewhere deeper than the body. His hand in mine felt good in a way I wasn't sure I could name.

How often had I held his hand and led him places, and not even realized I was doing it? Not even noticed my body had reached out to him, without my mind calling out an alarm of wrong? Was it only since the forest, or had I been like this before? Was that why everyone acted so strangely, pushing me towards Sami despite my protests? Were my feelings and actions so obvious to everyone but myself?

Sami smiled up at me when we entered the mess hall, nearly empty since we were getting in late, and my chest squeezed at the simple joy I saw reflected back at me in that look, that smile.

"Mate, can I have some pudding? Sera said they made pudding today and it's chocolate. I really like chocolate, Robert."

"Let yourself pay attention to what your heart says when you hear his voice."

I shook my head, trying to clear it, again Then I smiled and nodded.

"Whatever you want, Sami."

For the rest of the day, I kept Nibley's words in my mind. Maybe he was right. Maybe I was just afraid. Maybe I'd been treating Sami differently, and I'd not even seen it in myself. Maybe I was just too godsdamn blind to see it. Because as I paid attention to the things Nibley told me to, I noticed more and more the little things I felt and did when I was near Sami. Above all, he just made me smile. He made me calm and content and warm. He just... he made me feel good.

Sami seemed to have adopted a plan of patience towards me after the mess in the woods, but I wondered how much longer he'd keep to that. How much longer he would hold off before he again grew tired of my indecisive confusion. The man was patient, but he was also persistent and stubborn. He'd try again, and I had no idea how I would react— how I should react. Would I again chase after him, fall into his arms and let myself go with my desires, and his lust, or would I let him go this time, like I'd thought I should?