Naked

37 Regret

As night fell and my anger dissipated, regret came. I regretted being angry to Gerard. I regretted leaving him behind like that. He didn't deserve my ire for his feelings towards me. Was I mad to shun away from a revelation that was, in fact, something that I craved? Wasn't being told to be loved by someone you already loved the point of this damned life?

Why was I such an idiot and feel the need to push him away?

My heart ached and my stomach hurt so much that I lay on the floor curled in myself trying to soothe the pain.

Please, God. Let that not be the last time I see him.

I am afraid of losing the woman I love. The words rang back to me, splitting my heart in two with the realisation. I loved him too. He was the air I needed to breathe, the light I needed to see, the warmth to keep me alive. The beat of my heart. I was alone in a cellar and the only thing I could think about was Gerard.

I needed to rectify things between us. I needed to be done with this and go back to him. I could finish this with the same resolve he bestowed in every aspect of his life. I would make him proud to have me in his heart.

The room roared when the door flew open revealing a very bloodied Wyatt. I jumped and cautiously took a few steps backwards glued to the man for any sudden movements.

Besides the sudden and violent appearance, he looked crestfallen. Broken even. He was gone for three days and now he comes back with tears in his eyes? No. I do not believe this act.

I was sure he had come up with a plan to extract information, now came the tricky part in playing him in his own game.

I swallowed gauging his slow approach with heavy steps that grazed the floor and irritated my ears with their echo. At that moment I hated the man more than anything and the last thing I felt for him was a pity. If he ever actually went through something so dramatic as he so skillfully acted.

He walked, head hung low not even glimpsing my way. He reached the chair I used to occupy and sat heavy, exhaling long and loudly. He ran a hand through his hair and down his face rubbing his red-rimmed eyes. He really did look worn and tired.

'I have bought ya as much time as I could.' he finally uttered slowly.

'Now it's time for ya to see what ya have done.'

'Whatever do you mean?' I asked breathlessly for the sake of pretence.

'I don't know of whether ya are truly that clever as to play the victim here or dumb enough to try to play the victim. Hawk cannot help ya. God cannot help ya. There is only yar devil now waiting outside that door ready to kill ya. Tell me where Garrett Bennet is and I will put a bullet through ya skull.

Give ya mercy, in the name of our Lord.'

I snorted and sneered at him.

'How merciful. Did you offer the same thing to Lola? Or Richard? I saw not one hole in their skulls so I guess not. Or am I the exception to get such a tremendous offer?'

Wyatt shook his head and let out a bitter laugh.

'I wasna there to put a bullet through their heads. Ya had me locked in the bawdy when the first died and on yar tail when Richard...' his voice choked out and he cleared his throat loudly. He wiped his eyes and stood suddenly making me jump a few steps back. My heart started hammering in my chest while my brain ran as fast as it could to formulate a plan to overcome him in case he went rabid. The door was there, the road almost clear. He looked tired so maybe with a kick, I could disable him for just enough to slip out and run.