byler stories :)

gay thoughts and a love letter pt 4

"Mike, there's a letter for you!" Mike heard his mom yell. It's from Will, he assumed, they sometimes sent letters. He didn't really send letters to El, they talked more on the phone, so he didn't think it was from her. Mike and Will talked on the phone, of course, but not as often as they should have. Actually Mike didn't really want to talk on the phone...for a very specific reason.

That reason being that Mike...likes Will...romantically. And he really doesn't want that to accidentally slip out in a phone call.

He ran to get the letter off of the table, glancing at it. It was definitely from Will, it had his name on it. Mike ran back into his room, shut the door and sat on his bed. Will sent him a letter and it shouldn't be a big deal. Then why was his heart doing fricken somersaults?

Mike figured out that he liked Will when he moved away, which was probably the worst timing ever. Obviously, when he left, Mike missed him. Will was his best friend. Nothing would ever be the same if he wasn't here. Who was Mike supposed to talk to? Ok, yeah, Lucas, Dustin and Max. But they're not Will. Mike and Will had this connection. Mike would find himself imagining what it would be like if Will was still here. They would talk, watch movies, laugh together. It was all, regular, platonic, I-miss-my-best-friend, thoughts.

But, these new types of non-platonic thoughts started to creep into his head. Like, what if Will was here and you were watching movies together and all of a sudden he kissed you- and woah wait why was Mike thinking of that? He tried to suppress these thoughts but they became a kind of guilty pleasure. He kind of liked fantasizing about his best friend. But that was... a problem. For a number of reasons.

Firstly, Will doesn't like him. I mean, Mike always kind of suspected that he was gay. He never brought it up or anything, but, Will never really paid attention to girls and he always seemed to take the bullies' insults way harder than anyone else. Still, even if Will was gay, he couldn't like Mike. He had seemed kind of distant ever since their fight. Actually, he seemed distant ever since Mike started dating El. Of course, that was mostly Mike's fault. However, he thought that it would get better. It never did. Something shifted between them but Mike just wasn't sure what it was.

Secondly, he found himself longing to be with Will and do romantic things with him, more than he wanted to with Eleven. He felt guilty! It was wrong to be thinking about someone romantically when you are in a relationship with someone else. Especially when you're thinking about your best friend. Luckily, El had broken up with him which gave him a bit of relief. It still kind of hurt though, as break ups do. It was...bittersweet.

Thirdly, he was still unsure about his feelings. Did he even like Will or were these thoughts just normal? They couldn't be normal, right? He was thinking about making out with his male best friend, that's not normal. But if he liked Will, then what does that make him? Gay? No. He wasn't gay. He liked girls too. Is there a word for both? Is Mike just weird? Should he just give up on Will and want El back? Does he even want El back? He didn't think so. El was great but his feelings were fading for her. He wished they could stay and everything would be easy. But that wasn't the case.

He needed to tell someone about how he felt. He went through his options...Lucas and Dustin might make fun of him, he didn't trust Max enough to tell her this and obviously he couldn't tell Will. So who else? He knew it could probably end really badly, but he somehow felt confident in his decision as he picked up the phone and called El.

Mike remembers the phone call in its entirety.

"Hey El!" Mike greeted, cheerfully. His cheerfulness was masking how nervous he was.

"Hi Mike" El replied. Ok, so how does he bring this up? Just say it, or? He should've thought this through.

"So uh, I wanted to tell you something" Mike prompted, very unsure on what to say next.