byler stories :)

there's love behind those zero phone calls (pt 2)

Mike

When Will left Hawkins, Mike knew that he would miss Will the most.

He should miss El more. He knows he should. She loves him. And he loves her,right? That's just how it was, and how it was supposed to be. They're practically soulmates at this point.

But he wasn't as close to her as he was with Will. Sure, they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but Will is his best friend. If he needed someone to talk to, Will was always there. Mike could tell him anything and Will wouldn't make fun of him or invalidate his feelings. And everytime they're together, it's always fun, Will always made it fun. Just being around Will made Mike want to smile. He was always so nice, except for when he wasn't, which was rare and usually it was Mike's fault anyways. Mike didn't lie about the fact that being friends with Will was the best thing he ever did. It still was.He'd never love someone the way he loved Will.

He just wasn't sure if his love for Will was platonic or not.

Admittedly, he didn't always think of Will in the most platonic way. He had always thought Will was cute, both appearance wise and personality wise. And he always wanted to be closer to him, it was comforting. Sometimes he thought of holding his hand, and sometimes he actually did. On more than one occasion, he wanted to kiss him.

He wasn't sure how to feel about this. He knew not many people would accept these kind of feelings, he didn't even know if his own parents would. And he knew that it would hurt El, which was the last thing he wanted to do. Besides, he didn't even know what this meant. Perhaps, these thoughts were just meaningless thoughts, and the feelings that he had were meaningless as well.

He wasn't even sure if he loved El anymore. In the back of his mind, he knew there was a chance he didn't. But he was the one pushing that thought to the back of his mind. El was perfect, why wouldn't he want her? And that's not an exaggeration. No one's exactly perfect but El with her kindhearted nature despite all she's been through, El with her selflessness always shine through, it made her perfect to him. And it was easier to love her. Easier than it would be to love Will. But still, their phone calls didn't have much chemistry and they felt more like friends lately. He didn't want to bring it up though, he didn't want to admit that his feelings could be fading away.

Despite how complicated his mind was becoming, he still wanted to call Will. He missed him, no matter if he loved him romantically or not. But no matter what he wanted, he never went through with it. He always gave up and asked for El instead. Everytime he picked up the phone, nerves would get to him, and he gave up and asked for El instead. Part of him was thinking that it was the right thing to do, as he would just embarrass himself with Will. The other part of him knew he was just afraid of what he felt.

But still, he took a breath and picked up the phone with the intention of calling him.

He stood there, and nervously called the phone in Will's new house that he always called.

"Hello?" Will answered.

Everytime Will answered, his heart jumped. "Romantic love", he thought. Perhaps, it was. But again, he reminded himself how complicated things would be and decided against the thought.

"Oh, hey Will!" Mike greeted, awkwardly.

What would he say next? What could he say? What if he lets it slip how he feels? They would never be the same again. Their friendship would be ruined. Because he knew that Will would never like him back. He knew it was pointless. He knew he was better off with El. All of these doubtful thoughts hit him like a truck, like they always did. He let some silence go on, debating on what to say next. He knew he'd never forgive himself for making the safe choice instead of choosing what he actually wanted to choose, but he did it anyway.

"Is El there?" Mike blurted out, giving up in a split second decision.

He immediately felt bad. He couldn't believe he didn't talk to Will again. He was so sure he would this time, but he chickened out. Again.

"Uh,yeah" Will replied, timidly.

Mike could sense the disappointment in his voice. He never wanted to hurt Will, he only wanted him to smile. He loved to make Will smile. But he tried to convince himself, it was better this way. If Will knew why he never called him, everything would change. One day, he'd gain the courage to talk to him, but today wasn't that day.

The phone was passed to El.

He knew how this would end. He knew how this should end. Mike would end up with El and they would be in an iconic relationship for all of time. He and Will would be no more than best friends. He was certain Will could find someone better than Mike anyways. It was a good plan, but it just left Mike feeling weird. Like it wasn't what he wanted. His mind was a mess, and would probably continue being a mess until these feelings for Will subsided.

But for now, all he could do was try, and possibly fail, to act like everything was normal.