Blood for Blood

Chapter Fifteen

"But how did you die?" I asked. "The brain tumor." He answered," they couldn't save me in time. Apparently." I began to cry once more.

"But nooo Brennan I need you!" I cried," you can't leave me. No I will not allow you to." I went up to hug him but forgot he had been a ghost, so when I tried to put my arms around him, he just disappeared into dust leaving nothing behind. I sat back down on the bed and sobbed pulling my sleeves over my hands and letting the tears bleed into the cardinal black of my sleeves.

I walked the 3 and a half miles back home. Once I did get home, I ran right into my downstairs bathroom without even saying hey to my parents. I just walked right passed them without saying a word. I grabbed my blade which was hidden behind the sink and began to cut deep within my wrists. Hoping I'd hit the vein.

"You're the closest to heaven, that I'll ever be.

And I don't wanna' go home right now.

And all I can taste is this moment.

And all I can breathe is your life.

But sooner or later, it's over.

I just don't wanna' miss you tonight.

And I don't want the world to see me.

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

When everything's meant to be broken,

I just want you to know who I am."

The lyrics of Iris (cover) by Sleeping with Sirens played in my head as I cut deeply into my wrists and cried at the same time. That song fit perfectly into what was happening to me at that moment. It was all my fault. I stopped with the cutting and huddled up in a ball. There. Suffering. I loved Brennan with all the pieces of my broken heart that I still had left. Flashbacks of when I bit him and him saying," I want to be with you forever," swirled around in my brain like a hurricane. My head was pretty much a whole tsunami.

I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I stopped my crying and turned around. It was Brennan's spirit. "...H-hi." I told him. "...Hey." He said in a soft, hush voice,"don't cry for me. Don't cut for me. I don't want you to worry about me. I'll be fine. God is protecting me. I promise. I love you and I'm sure you can find a guy better than me." A tear fell from his beautiful green eyes.

"Brennan, don't say that." I said," I worry about you 24/7, you're amazing, you have so many friends, you're sweet, you're kind, generous, and you're the only boy whose not a jerk. There is no other guy in this messed up world that would ever, EVER be better than you. And of course, I love you too." He forced a smile and let a few more tears fall from his eyes. I was dying to wipe them away, calm him down, and touch and kiss him until our lips go numb and our hands grow sore, but I couldn't.

"I'll miss you." He said," you'll miss me right?" I looked up at him with a sad smile. "Of course I will, Brennan. I love you and you made me feel special because you were always there for me and you're about the only one that cares. You gave me a chance to actually love someone. Of course. I'll always miss you...forever."