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A Bloggers 10 Commandments

Now, I’m not going to lie, I’ve never written a blog so before I began I did a bit of research. And I’ve collected together a set of commandments for when you’re writing a blog.

1.  Thou shalt not worry about offending

I don’t agree with this. If you want to go round the internet insulting people then go ahead, but... kiss goodbye to you social life cause, dude you ain’t gonna get no friends.

I will try not to offend you if I do it will be an accident so please don’t hunt me :’(

2.  Thou shalt pay attention to the Mundane  

I didn’t know what a Mundane was. I thought maybe it was a person’s name ‘cause it started with a capital “M”, this sounds crazy, but I thought maybe I’d be sitting in my house and some person would be standing in my kitchen making tea or something and then turn around like in a horror movie and say “PAY ATTENTION TO ME”.

After consulting Google (Google should be respected and loved, it knows all). It turns out Mundane is not a person and is not going to make tea in my kitchen. Disappointing. -_-

Mundane has two definitions:

1) Lacking interest or excitement; dull

I really, really hope I lack interest or am dull, if I am then… well I don’t know what I’d do… cry. Probably.

2) Of this earthly world rather than a heavenly or spiritual one

So I need to pay attention to the fact that I’m not a God or fairy or other mythical creature.

This crushed ALL my childhood dreams in a single moment.

It also means that I can’t perform any miracles on this blog like make it any better than it is, so I guess you’re stuck with me LOLS.

3.  Thou shalt take clichés to EXTREAMS

A clichés is something that has been told so much it is just isn’t effective any more

(I also had to Google what a cliché is, I think we can tell now that my life wouldn’t function without Google, I would know nothing)

So this means I can you the “Why did the chicken cross the road joke?” as many times as I want. *

*The answer is “to get to the other side”. That’s why I cross the road too (Or because I don’t know where I’m going and I can’t consult Google. This does happen… Frequently)

4. Thou shalt sell something

No. Just, No. If you have wandered on to the blog hoping I would sell you dinner or a pair of socks. Go away, because I’m not.

5. Thou shalt only blog 300 words

The word count so far is 440, so I’ve failed at that already, I’m very sorry that you have to read an extra 110 words.

[Word count at 471. Sorry.]

6. Thou shalt invite people back to your blog

You are cordially invited to return to my blog.

Please do come back and comment below on what you think about this first part, I am very interested to hear you response, unless it’s bad (joke, I will read all of them and change anything you don’t like)

I hope you enjoyed it and do come back.

So, comment, vote and/or follow me @Viva Life