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What Disney taught me

Disney movies is what I am going to be talking about today, no reasoning behind this just because.

So, Disney Movie… as a kid I adored them and I do go and watch the new ones that come out like Frozen and Tangled, just to see what everyone was talking about, and they were good, i prefere them from the old ones.

And looking back now at the old Disney movies, what the makers decided to teach young child is just plain weird.

The main lesson in the movies is that all old women are evil. I know plenty of old women, none of whom have ever tried to kill me or make me into their slave. So either they are just biding their time and waiting to pounce when I’m not looking or old women are just that, old women.

The second thing Disney teaches is that it is perfectly acceptable for young girls to walk around in their underwear. Arial and Jasmine I'm looking at you. PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.  If you saw someone walking down the street wearing what they do, what would be your first thought of them? Seriously, what?

And the major thing I have learnt while growing up is that things that happen in Disney movies just won’t happen in real life. It scared me when I found out these five things would never happen to me.

1)   I will never be able to talk to animals

Trust me I have tried this. I got lost in the park when I was little and asked a squirrel for directions. Guess how well that work?  

It is very disappointing to think that when my mum asks me to do the washing up I can’t just sing some chant and worms will appear from the ground or my cat will jump up on the table and do it all for me.

2)   My hair is not going to grow as long as Rapunzel

That would be such a good talking point if I had 5 mile long hair.

I "Googled" how long Rapunzel’s hair would have been if she was a real person, it is estimated about 70 feet long and it would have weighed around 70lb. 

3)   No one randomly breaks in to song in the middle of nowhere

This was probably the most depressing bit for me. I do sing in the middle of nowhere any way without any warning but people don’t join in with me they just stare :(

FACT: Flynn Rider, in Tangled, is the only Disney character ever to question why people randomly break into song

4)   It is rare that after knowing a man for five minutes you will marry him

It’s also very impractical, what if you find out you don’t like him. It’s like girls with celeb crushes; you like their looks but do you like their personality?

Fact: Frozen was the first Disney movie to question the idea of marrying someone you’ve only met once

5)   You will get arrested for crimes

By this I mean characters like Snow White – she broke into someone’s house and no one cared, if I broke into someone’s house I’d get arrested, even if all I did was sleep in their bed and tidy up. (That goes for Goldilocks too, but she got attacked by bears so I think that’s good enough justice)

Beast (from Beauty and the Beast) – he abducted two people and them was involved in a man’s death. The police really need to start cracking down on these people.

Cinderella – The most famous Disney character, impersonated a Princess and crashed a royal party, if you’re not arrested for at least part of that I’d be surprised.

I hope you liked my little rant about Disney princesses. Comment below with your thoughts.

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