Don't Blame Yourself (Yoshiki x Ayumi Fanfiction)

Chapter 8: I Never Will Hate You

Ayumi's P.O.V

My throat was burning, and the impact of what he had just confessed didn't help me breathe. What should I feel? What am I feeling? Didn't I like... Mochida? I don't like Kishinuma! That's impossible... He's just a delinquent that lies through his teeth... He would NEVER like me... And I would never like him...

But... He saved me countless times in Heavenly Host... And I KNOW he wouldn't have done it if he didn't like me, he's just that kind of person... I didn't know... What to think... It was like my own personal war inside my head that would never end. This war is silly. Don't like to yourself, Ayumi. You like him. You just didn't want to acknowledge it. He beat people up when you first saw him, so you told yourself you liked one of your friends.

I knew that was true.

"Kishinuma..." I repeated, falling into his chest. I stepped off the stool. He didn't move, probably thinking I just was using him for support. "I mean... Y-Yoshiki..." I heard his breathing stop, surprised. It was too late to hold it in now... I forced the words out of my mouth.

"I... Like you, too... I-I told myself I didn't... But I always have..." I looked up into his grey eyes, which were sparkling with tears. He pulled me into a tight embrace and I buried my face in his chest. "M-Maybe more then... Like." I whispered.

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that..." He breathed, obviously happy. I looked down at my feet and I realized he was having trouble to stand; he was trying his hardest to balance on one foot. I didn't want him to fall and hit his head. I REALLY didn't want him to hit his head. He had left his crutches downstairs, hadn't he?

I grabbed his hand, and pulled him along. Yoshiki awkwardly followed me, using the wall so he could walk. I hoped Hinoe and my parents weren't coming home yet, because it would be hard to explain why he was here and why I'm crying. I glanced back to him, and he was still giving me a questioning look.

I went to my room, and pulled him inside, and he didn't fight against it. I kicked my phone to the side of the room, not wanting to see the stupid thing again. I went to my bed and sat down, bring him with me. Yoshiki sat beside me, looking much more relaxed now that he wasn't on his feet. I threw my arms around his neck, and started to cry.

"I-I thought you hated me..." I sobbed, sitting on his lap and getting as close to him as I could.

"I would never hate you..." He comforted. "No matter what..." I felt so safe and secure as he wrapped his arms around me, laying his head on mine. I didn't want to move at all, just stay here forever, but that was a fantasy that could never come true for obvious reasons. But I can just make most of the moment now.

"I'm glad..." I sniffled. I wanted to say sorry about all those times I was such a bitch to him, but I couldn't pick the right words.

So, I decided to say 'I'm sorry' a different way.

I reached for his face, and forced him to look at me. My heart was beating insanely fast, knowing what I was going to do. I felt my cheeks warm to a blush, as his face did. This was just awkward. I needed to do what I wanted to do right now, before I just chicken out of embarrassment. But... I was beaten to it.

Yoshiki's lips gently pressed against mine, his eyes falling closed. I put my arms back to where they had just been on his neck, and kissed him back. The world melted away around me, and I became more unaware as I closed my eyelids. I let myself forget about everything; Mayu's death, Heavenly Host, him being hit by a car... I just let myself feel legitmately happy for once in a seemingly long time.

I blame writers block... :P

Hope you enjoyed, though :3