Not Everything Goes According to Plan (Brallon/Ryden)

Chapter 23: Nobody Knows All the Trouble I've Seen

That's it I've had enough of this. I'm done. I'm so done.

I lift myself off the couch,gather my jacket and phone, and wipe the running tears off my face. I hear footsteps walk down the silent hall and someone knocks on the door,

"Dallon! Dallon! Can I come in?" It was Brendon. I really didn't want do deal with him right now. It would be a repeating cycle of 'No baby Its not your fault, I forgive you, it's ok, don't cry' but that wasn't the case. This was his fault. He was the one who hired me in the first place. He was the one who came onto me at the bar that one night. It was because of him that Ryan came back. I didn't have time for his full of shit condolences, it just makes him feel less bad for what he started.

I unlock the door and stare at him dead in the eyes. Not his deep beautiful eyes, but eyes filled with regret and concern.

"Dallon we need to talk about this. I know what you're going through."

What a shitty excuse to get me to talk to him. I ignore his 'concern' and keep walking past him. He doesn't move, doesn't speak, just stares at me-what he's done. I push the door from the emergency exit on the back side of the venue and and find my self surrounded by a sea of screaming fans.

"DALLON!!!"

Don't pretend you love me too. You all just scream because I'm in this shit band. I could be replaced by a potato and you'd all react the same. Buying posters writing fucked up stories about me and my personal life, you don't know me, you don't know who the hell I even am.

I ignore their cries and calls and walk straight by them, not even making eye contact. The joy and excitement drains from their faces and a half bitter half confused silence grows upon them. That's how life is kids, you think love someone and it turns out they're lying and are just making your life a living hell.

I walk across the street and down the boulevard to make it into the closest bar I could come across. This time Dr. Pepper wouldn't do the trick. I sit at the bar like the stereotypical sad saps gripping around a small glass of whiskey, 'ridding' of my troubles. In a moment of hatred, depression, and annoyance I decided to have 3 more. I hadn't drank in a while, ever even. The burning sensation of whiskey was a new an uncomfortable feeling but not as painful as what I just went through.

"So this is how it's gonna be?" A voice says next to me. My vision is blurry by now and my judgment is off but it's a familiar voice.

"I-I don't give a shit anymore th-this is just one big fucking mess and-and I'm done."

"Dallon no you're not, you're just pissed. Same thing happened to Brendon years ago and look at him now, he's dandy as a flower. I mean Ryan wasn't two timing, but even back then he was a little skinny bitch. Don't let him get to your head and he'll leave you alone."

"Spencer I didn't I,I don't want any of this." My eyes begin to refill with tears. I look down and firmly grasp, almost breaking, my nearly empty glass of whiskey. "This whole thing with Ryan with Bren it's-its too much. I can't, I just can't anymore."

I throw my head down to the bar and sob into my arm. I thought this band was giving clarity to my life but it just ended up making it more confusing.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and sooth my back.

"Don't say that." He turns me around, making me face him eye to eye with a comforting smile. "Dal, the fans love you, Brendon loves you. Hell, even Ryan loves you. But let's just ignore that. I mean, I've seen the way you look and act with Brendon, I know you love him too."

He wipes my tears of sorrow with his thumb and pulls me into a hug. For someone who hardly spoke, he had a lot to say. I was truly grateful to have someone like him as a friend that had my back.

"Let's go."

I nod and slowly lift myself up from the barstool. I was still completely drunk so the room was spinning faster and faster the quicker I got up. He sees my inability to function properly so he wraps his arm around me and guides me home-well to the tour bus.